The first time I saw a sign pointing out a speed hump, I reverted to my 16-year-old inner child.
Speed hump? Tee hee.
Sounds more like a furtive near-sex act than an honest-to-gosh road feature.
I recall driving out of my way to show the sign to my wife, who looked at me with that pitying/amused look wielded all too often by the significant others of grown men with 16-year-old inner children.
I thought some actual 16-year-olds had defaced a speed bump sign, but my wife sighed and assured me that, yes, it was supposed to say speed hump and that, obviously, there was a difference between a speed bump and a speed hump.
I seem to recall giggling.
Seriously, get your wife to say the words bump and hump enough times and see if you can keep from laughing, at least inside.
Anyway … I’ve matured a bunch since then, but I’ve not totally outgrown my fascination with — apologies to the Black Eyed Peas — my humps.
So after cursing a couple of speed bumps and gliding over a couple of speed humps re-piqued my interest and made me wonder about their sudden proliferation on the city’s newest roads, I headed off to the Interwebs to see if there really is a distinction between a bump and a hump or if it’s merely a matter of semantics.
Turns out, both are common speed-calming devices, but from what I gathered speed humps are speed bumps 2.0. While both force traffic to calm down, generally speaking humps trump bumps.
Bumps are abrupt, cause vehicles to slow to about 5 mph lest the driver suffer significant discomfort and are a pain when the snowplows roll.
Humps are the high-tech bump. They’re gradual and induce a more gentle, rocking motion up to about 15 mph and are generally considered safer.
The sensation seems more pronounced on a bike.
I went for a ride the other day around Free State High with the family, and even my 9-year-old son became annoyed at the speed bumps — after he tired of trying to launch off the top of every one.
But when we rode in a nearby residential neighborhood with humps, he didn’t make a peep — and tried to launch off the top of every one.
I’m always afraid a speed bump is going to make me endo; I have no such fears riding over speed humps.
My only concern is that, catching sight of a speed hump sign, I’ll fall into a giggle fit and lose control of myself and my bike.
Speed hump. Tee hee.
