TV lights an incurable addiction

By Tom Keegan     Sep 16, 2010

Something about a TV camera turns relatively normal human beings into moths, swirling around the klieg lights. We all like to mock others who flock to the TV camera, yet we stealthily seek its eye.

Those in-the-newsroom intros Andrew Baker records for Channel 6, you don’t really think I just happen to be walking in the background by accident, do you? It’s calculated in such a way to make it seem as if I’m just walking in the background by accident. Back in the days when baseball writers weren’t restricted from standing at the cage to watch batting practice, I’d get right in line with the camera and position myself about 15 feet off the reporter’s left shoulder.

This unrequited love of the TV camera is an addiction without cure. By comparison, sugar and Three Stooges reruns have weak pulls.

Why should college football players be any different? They, too, love appearing on TV, especially when doing what they do best. Performing for a national ESPN audience validates all the grueling workouts, the film and playbook study. Not just the players bring their best for the ESPN cameras. The red light jacks the students, too. Decent atmospheres become wild ones. Students have it figured out. The wilder they are, the better chance they get their 1.5 seconds of national-TV fame. It enhances the homefield advantage.

“The Rock” at Southern Miss will rock for three hours with students clamoring for recognition while showering affection on the Golden Eagles. South Carolina humiliated Southern Miss on ESPN in a Thursday night game in the opening week of the season.

“We expect it to be very hostile,” Kansas senior cornerback Chris Harris said. “We know they lost their first game on ESPN, so we know they’re going to be ready for us to get another shot on ESPN, playing another BCS Conference team, so we know they’re going to be prepared and ready to go.”

Junior linebacker Steven Johnson, from Media, Pa., doesn’t deny the presence of the electronic media’s eye sharpens the focus.

“I feel like it’s the first time my family and all my friends back at home are going to be able to watch me play on national television,” Johnson said. “I mean, I feel as though it will be cool. This is what I’ve been dreaming about ever since I was a little kid. Now that it’s real, it’s kind of cool.”

Air time so seduces the mind that it’s easy to remember the details of the first time. I was a student at Marquette University, one of three contestants on the MU Dating Game. The girl — a blonde with horrible taste in men shielded from her view — asked Bachelor No. 2 what I would bring if I could bring only one thing for a date with her on a deserted island.

“A TV,” I said.

“A TV?” she asked, horrified.

“Yep,” I answered. “I hope you like to watch sports.”

Bachelor No. 3, Larry, responded: “A picnic basket. Inside it would be a long-stem rose, a bottle of white wine, two wine glasses, a candle, a match, and a blanket to spread out on the sand.”

The beauty of sports on TV: It doesn’t reward phonies. Remember, this one’s a Friday night game, so make sure your date knows the ground rules: You get to bring along a TV set.

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