It all started over a cup of coffee.
Several local fans were discussing with a Kansas University official the location of their seats for the March 1 Kansas-Kansas State basketball game – the night of the dedication of Allen Fieldhouse.
“We were up so high we were with the birds,” one fellow remarked.
“Did you see them?” the KU official inquired anxiously.
“Whatta ya mean, did we see them?” another fan retorted, thinking the KU man had given them a wisecrack answer because they had questioned the location of their seats.
And so it was that the tale of “Birdland at KU, or Sparrows in the Fieldhouse” was unfolded by the troubled university representative.
While the fieldhouse was being built, and before windows and doors were put in place, hundreds of sparrows discovered how ideal the huge I-beams across the ceiling were for nests and perches. Since it was wintertime, the birds didn’t have to worry about snow, rain, wind or any of the problems faced by their less fortunate friends living on the outside.
They weren’t concerned about food as there were approximately 150 workmen on the fieldhouse project – and most of them brought their lunches to work, leaving something after each meal.
Now the problem is – how to get rid of the birds?
The sparrows don’t want to leave. They have warm housing, food left by basketball fans, plenty of space to exercise in and what’s more, they get a “bird’s eye view” of all the top athletic events in the $3.5 million structure.
The bird population at the fieldhouse has now started to worry KU officials. Of course, they realize sparrows are the best of a bad situation. Dive-bombing pigeons would be much worse.
Numerous ideas have been considered on how to chase the feathered intruders.
One of the first ideas was to put out poisoned wheat. After officials studied this proposal, it was dropped. It would be quite embarrassing and possibly dangerous to have a dead “spatsy” fall onto the playing court during a basketball game.
Air rifles were ruled out. The ceiling is too high for the pellets to reach the target.
One athletic-minded consultant suggested feeding the sparrows strong hormones. After a while, he speculated, the sparrows would turn into fighting Jayhawkers and the athletic department wouldn’t have to worry about uniforms. The birds would be the real thing.
A frequent basketball fan during the many years at Hoch Auditorium likes the music of professor Russell Wiley’s band and enjoys watching, tumbling, ping pong, fencing, Indian dances and interpretive dancing during halftime intermission. He suggested a new act.
Each school, in addition to their basketball teams, could bring falcons. Then at halftime, contests could be held to see how long it takes a falcon to take off and bring back a dead sparrow. The new super-duper scoreboard with its elaborate timing mechanism would be able to tick off the “strike period” for each falcon.
A frustrated duck hunter of this past fall, who didn’t get in much shooting, volunteered to put up a sparrow blind and see what he and his 12-guage shotgun could accomplish in eliminating the sparrows.
An alumnus of the university who wants to see a more rounded sports program at his alma mater suggested the organization of a KU skeet team, with target practice held in the fieldhouse – the feathered inhabitants providing the targets.
As of this time, none of these proposals has been used. So far, all surveys of bird damage to the fieldhouse have been spotty, to say the least.
It is a problem, and it must be solved. University officials are anxious to discover a solution.
