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2008 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Keegan

Keegan: Sarcastic answers for Self

By Tom Keegan

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Full video coverage of the Kansas Jayhawks in the 2008 NCAA Tournament

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Final Four tip-off special

Ryan Greene, D.J. Whetter and Kevin Romary hit the studio before heading down to San Antonio to talk about the Roy Williams connection, the Bill Self-OSU rumors that never seem to want to die, who to like in the weekend's other semifinal and the weekly trivia. Oh yeah, and analysis ...

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Final Four news conferences are piped across the nation on television, so more than just the players need to be at the tops of their games.

Don't count on it. A guide for Kansas University basketball coach Bill Self on how to answer questions that could surface this weekend in San Antonio:

Coach, As you know, North Carolina loves to get up and down the court in a hurry. Do you plan to run with the Tar Heels or are you going to try to frustrate them by slowing it down?

"Actually, even though we have five fast players on the court at all times, and even though we went 35-3, gained a share of the Big 12 title, and defeated Texas in the Big 12 tournament title game, we're going to spend the week walking away from who we are as a team. We're going to walk the ball up the floor, because we think our 35-3 record is a mirage. We're going to run the weave for 25 seconds of the 35-second shot clock and then try to score."

Thanks, coach.

Coach, as you know, the Oklahoma State job is vacant and you have a little history there. Any interest in the job?

"Yes, and I'm going to tell you that right here and now on national TV so that my players who I have put through rigorous practices feel as if they don't mean anything to me. I'm going to tell you I'm interested in seeing how much money I can pry out of Boone Pickens, and thereby help everyone in the coaching profession by changing the going rate for a Final Four coach. I'm going to tell you I'm interested so that all the attention centers on my future, instead of living in the moment, the greatest moment of my career and my players' careers. Never mind that I already brushed off that whole question masterfully Tuesday. I was just waiting for you to ask me the question, so I could give my real answer."

Coach, talk about ...

"Stop right there. Nobody tells me what to talk about. Now, if you have a question, I'd be more than happy to answer it. But don't tell me what to talk about. I guess I'm asking you to do a little of the work yourself, instead of being so lazy as to just tell me to talk about something."

Self won't be the only one asked questions that have nothing to do with the games that will be played in the deepest Final Four in history, the only one with four No. 1 seeds. Count on Memphis point guard Derrick Rose getting a few beauties sent his way.

Derrick, have you given any thought to whether you will declare yourself eligible for the NBA Draft?

"No, none whatsoever. I'm No. 2 on everybody's draft list, which would bring me a cool $4 million during my rookie season, but no, I haven't thought about it at all. Why would I want to earn $4 million a year when I can return to Memphis and let my coach earn the millions while I play for room, board, tuition and books?"

The worst questions Final Four participants will answer during the weekend won't come from reporters, rather from "friends."

"We go way back. Don't tell me you have forgotten where you came from. Can you get me a ticket?"

I've got your ticket. Right here!

Comments

lumpegravy (anonymous) says...

I just don't get this at all...

April 3, 2008 at 2:12 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

chuckberry32 (anonymous) says...

this story seems fitting for Keegan...

April 3, 2008 at 6:23 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

drum1984 (anonymous) says...

hilarious

April 3, 2008 at 6:35 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

kujayhawk (anonymous) says...

I think somebody is starting to get fired up for the game.

Derrick Rose sounds like he was following Self's lead.

April 3, 2008 at 7:08 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

yates33333 (anonymous) says...

Great humor, even if it is Keegan.

April 3, 2008 at 7:14 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

BannerforKirk (anonymous) says...

Every year Keegan has to do a "stupid media" article before the Final Four (last year it was about about post-game press conferences) hoping that we all won't remember that.....he's a member of the media. Just seems like a silly waste of a column to me.

April 3, 2008 at 7:31 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

mvjayhawk (anonymous) says...

i thought it was pretty funny. we need some comedy, before the coming serious storm. (the actual ballgame, possible national title, and Oklahoma St. coaching job.)

April 3, 2008 at 7:38 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

Solomon (anonymous) says...

I thought this was much better than Keegan's usual tripe.

April 3, 2008 at 7:46 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

plasticJHawk (anonymous) says...

mv, the ballgame is pretty serious. The shot at a national championship is serious too. The Oklahoma State coaching job? Come on! I don't know why you're so interested in the OSU coaching vacancy? Are you a candidate? I'm not a candidate. I didn't go to OSU. I don't care about their search for their next head coach. I went to Kansas and we have a heck of a coach who isn't a candidate for the OSU job.

North Carolina is gonna give us a heck of a game, and if we don't play better than we did last week we're gonna be one and done in San Antonio. Our guys are gonna have to come to play and play to win. They need to be pumped, they need to be loose, and they need to be aggressive. Russell Robinson is gonna have to make life difficult for Ty Lawson. Mario Chalmers is gonna have to keep the ball out of Wayne Ellington's hands. Brandon Rush has got to be out for blood. We need Chalmers to be on fire. Arthur has to keep his head in it, not get silly fouls and get some good shots around the paint. We need Jackson to up the intensity on the glass. Kaun has got to continue his play from the Davidson game. And Collins better be ready to give us whatever we need when his Coach Self calls his name.

April 3, 2008 at 7:59 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

kc_wildfire (anonymous) says...

Good stuff!

The majority of the media ask such dumb, and obvious, questions I feel sorry for the coaches and players who have to answer.

April 3, 2008 at 8:56 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

Studogg (anonymous) says...

I like this article from Keegs. It actually made me laugh. I think it's good for people to be able to laugh at themselves. Keegan can call the media out because he's a member. It's not like he's taking pot shots at people who can't defend themselves. It was just a little humor to break up the tension of this week. Nothin' wrong with that.

April 3, 2008 at 9:05 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

leikness (anonymous) says...

I personally don't see any sarcasm in the first comment. Pretty sure for the last 5 minutes of the first half on Sunday hawks ran the 3 man weave as an offense. I think my teams ran that offense in maybe 5th grade. My advise, if you see that one time in the first half on Saturday, turn the TV off because the game will be over.

April 3, 2008 at 9:28 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

b_asinbeer (anonymous) says...

I liked this article. Thanks Keegan.

Don't listen to people who have nothing to do but bitch, bitch, bitch...you know who you are.

April 3, 2008 at 9:51 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

leikness (anonymous) says...

b - so you liked the weave in the first half? Or, are you a GD Yell Leader.

April 3, 2008 at 10:10 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

crooner (anonymous) says...

"She's got a ticket to ride..."

April 3, 2008 at 10:55 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

lalawguy (anonymous) says...

I like the Clark Kellogg reference. He has never asked a question, but always says "Talk about..."

IMO, a very funny story!

April 3, 2008 at 10:55 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

jhwkfan162515 (anonymous) says...

Wow, Bill Self sounds like Bob Knight in Keegan's world!

But this is a pretty pointless article. I think my IQ dropped about 5 or 10 points for my having read this.

April 3, 2008 at 11:05 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

walkdog262 (anonymous) says...

What has to be the worst part about this time of year are the national media types who swoop in and ask stupid questions that any fan of said team already knows has been addressed 400 times.
"Coach Williams, Dick Weiss, New York Daily News. Coach, describe your love affair with Coke, and how you came to love this particular cola beverage."
"Well, Dick, it all started when I was a boy in North Carolina. My momma couldn't afford to buy me Cokes ..."

April 3, 2008 at 11:09 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

goldlighting (anonymous) says...

WTF is this article about? How to pretend you are a moron without seeming like a moron? The SOB even picked against ku, again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why does Keegan even pretend to be a KU fan? Was he born in Missouri?

April 3, 2008 at 11:41 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

chicagohawk52 (anonymous) says...

This is why the LJW sucks sometimes. What is the point of this article? Fill space?

April 3, 2008 at 12:04 p.m. ( | suggest removal )

Strikewso (anonymous) says...

I like it, I think there are some more dumb questions Bill might need some help with...

April 3, 2008 at 1:09 p.m. ( | suggest removal )

KURUSH1530 (anonymous) says...

The only thing I find funny about this article is that it seems those are questions Keegan would actually ask..

April 3, 2008 at 1:36 p.m. ( | suggest removal )

KUGreenMachine (anonymous) says...

They're filling space because they spent the last few years writing Roy Williams stories, so now that we're playing him in the Final Four, there is nothing to talk about! HAHA

April 3, 2008 at 1:44 p.m. ( | suggest removal )

dek9219 (anonymous) says...

You mean that's not what Coach Self and Derek Rose actually said? Darn, I thought they were good answers.

April 3, 2008 at 1:59 p.m. ( | suggest removal )

actorman (anonymous) says...

"The SOB even picked against ku, again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Um, no, he DIDN'T pick against KU--at least against UNC. He picked KU to beat UNC 83-80. Now if you're talking about the championship, he didn't pick KU. But you know what? i don't care!!!!! And nobody else should either. Do you really want every reporter to blindly pick KU to win every game, without having any intent whatsoever of giving his honest opinion????? If that's the case, why bother to even read it????? You would already KNOW what the prediction would be! I'd rather have someone give his honest opinion, based on whatever his knowledge is of the situation (even if you may think that knowledge is limited). I don't know why that's such a difficult concept for some of you to grasp.

And as for the many criticial comments about this article, man oh man are you guys judgmental! It's a puff piece making fun of the numerous idiotic questions that are asked by the media at the Final Four. I haven't always found Keegan to be a great columnist but I find nothing wrong with this, and I think people are just looking for something to criticize. Maybe it's the tension of having to wait until Saturday. I know it's driving me nuts.

April 3, 2008 at 3:01 p.m. ( | suggest removal )

truehawkfan (anonymous) says...

Love the article!! I thought it was funny and was written at the right time. You guys bag on the article, but you still read it. Good job Keegs. If you guys don't like the way he writes, why read it? Just asking.

April 3, 2008 at 4:45 p.m. ( | suggest removal )

blahblahblah (anonymous) says...

truehawkfan

Morbid curiosity?

April 3, 2008 at 5:03 p.m. ( | suggest removal )

ralsterKUMed95 (anonymous) says...

People have been critical of Self, but win or lose (obviously winning would cement my point), to get so many highly touted McD AA-type players to play unselfishly and play stellar team-offense AND team-defense is a rare, RARE thing, and a masterful achievement by Bill Self. To have a basketball staff (Manning) that is able to make a major improvement across the board in our post-play (all 4 bigs!) is huge for this year. I look at this Final4 and realize these are almost the 2 toughest games we will have played in years. Or maybe, we beat UNC by 10 and UCLA by 20? Who knows--anything can happen. In my mind, even if we do not win it all, I personally would not change a thing about the style of play that KU has. We shall soon see if it is a plug&play system as well with the incoming talent. Win or lose, I have thoroughly enjoyed this hurt-you-from-anywhere offense, tight defense, run with anybody mentality, with a team chemistry I have not seen for a long time. I am not being critical of past KU great teams either; I just personally like many of our current players and their personal stories. If I was ever in a position to help them somehow after they graduate (even if we lose), I would be honored to help such fellow alumni. Players like Jackson and Robinson's character has come thru to me. Do what you can to win it, guys!
Go KU!!!!!

April 3, 2008 at 6 p.m. ( | suggest removal )

scootja32 (anonymous) says...

wear red!!!

April 3, 2008 at 7:09 p.m. ( | suggest removal )

jaybate (anonymous) says...

Soon they will be champions for the ages and none of this will matter.

April 3, 2008 at 10:40 p.m. ( | suggest removal )