I first met Dick Vitale last fall, when he was in Lawrence promoting his self-important book, “Living A Dream: Reflections on 25 Years Sitting in the Best Seat in the House.” It was a grey, December day at the Kansas Union, and after he signed hundreds of copies of his book, he agreed to do an interview. First off, I asked him about his schedule. “I do a lot of speaking,” Vitale said. Boy I thought to myself you can say that again. This weekend, Vitale will be back in Lawrence, as part of ESPN’s far-fetched [College Gameday concept.][1] The network will build a set in the east lobby of Allen Fieldhouse, and will broadcast Saturday night’s KU-Texas game. If you tune in, you’ll quickly notice that the game is secondary. Vitale is the real star. ![][2] With this in mind, it’s time to unveil the Dick Vitale Drinking Game. While not as complicated as the [Brent Musberger Drinking Game,][3] I’m hoping it will catch on. I know I’ll be playing this weekend. It’s my birthday.Game opens with Vitale raving about what a great atmosphere it is at Allen Fieldhouse. Take two drinks.Vitale comments on the Kansas seniors, calling them “great ambassadors to the game of college basketball.” Take one drink.Vitale notes the absence of Texas forward P.J. Tucker, who is academically ineligible. Vitale remembers that he is Tucker’s mother, and tells him to “get into the classroom and take care of business.” Take one drink.Game tips off. Vitale once again mentions the atmosphere. Take another drink.19:53 remaining in the first half. Vitale mentions Roy Williams for the first time. Take five drinks.19:51 remaining in the first half. Vitale mentions Duke for the first time. Walk up to television and punch Vitale in the face.18:32 remaining in the first half. Another Duke reference. Prank call J.J. Redick, and poke fun at his poetry in this week’s Sports Illustrated. And, oh yeah, take another drink.15:42 remaining in the first half. Alex Galindo enters for the first time and Vitale talks for five minutes about Galindo’s high school program in New Jersey. Take two drinks. Repeat when the same thing happens with Russell Robinson.*7:37 remaining in the first half. Vitale compliments Allen Fieldhouse again, calling it “one of the great basketball environments in Amer-ick-a.” Mentions Cameron Indoor Stadium and Dean Smith Center in same sentence. Take three drinks.5:32 remaining in the first half. Another Williams mention. Take a drink, throw extra bottle at television.4:04 remaining in the first half. Vitale begins tangent about Villanova game, saying how it was “out of character.” Take one drink.3:32 remaining in the first half. “Kansas fans need to take pride in Roy Williams.” Throw yourself in front of traffic.2:01 remaining in the first half. ESPN shows file video of Vitale applauding Nick Collison two years ago. Pour out one beer for the poor guys who sat next to him on press row that night.Halftime. Make a run to [“the King.”][4] Drunk dial Redick.Second Half: In between passing out on your couch and embarrassing your significant other, take five drinks every time Vitale mentions Williams. If you pull this off, call Betty Ford clinic. If not, call LMH.*If he chooses to enter game.Note: The Dick Vitale drinking game is for entertainment purposes only.**All-Star Hinrich?**How do you know when you’ve made the big time?You get called out in “[Cup ‘O Joel][5].”Earlier this week, my coffee-loving coworker and I got into an argument over whether Kirk Hinrich is, in fact, an NBA All-Star. Now, he’s making the argument public.For the sake of common sense, and for those who don’t see the world through [Crimson and Blue colored glasses,][6] here’s why Captain Kirk won’t be making the trip to Denver next month.First off, the stats don’t lie. Hinrich averages a modest 16.2 points per game, and he has to shoot 40 percent to get there. On the bright side, he does average 7.1 assists per game. However, that’s only good enough for 5th in the Eastern Conference (even the much-maligned Allen Iverson averages more). Okay, so Kirk must be the one leading this great Bulls comeback (Chicago is over .500 for the first time since the Jordan years). But that’s not exactly accurate, either. Ben Gordon and Eddy Curry are the two main reasons that the Bulls have been winning close games of late.Also, which guard would you take _off_ the all-star team in favor of Hinrich? LeBron James? Iverson? Dwayne Wade? Chauncey Billups? Gilbert Arenas?By the way, everybody mentioned above is ahead of Hinrich in fan voting. At least some people out there have some sense. [1]: http://www.kusports.com/news/mens_basketball/story/112995 [2]: http://www.kusports.com/art/apps/pennynews/1069851182_vitale.jpg [3]: http://forums.hornfans.com/php/wwwthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=classics&Number=590437&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=0&fpart=/ [4]: http://www.lawrence.com/places/the_burrito_king/ [5]: http://blogs.lawrence.com/mathis/ [6]: http://kansas.scout.com/index.html/