I wrote the following for our Final Four Pep Rally at the nursing home in Eudora. I took liberties with Coach Fambrough’s story: The Three Little Jayhawks. I hope he doesn’t mind. Steve Jensen gave voice to the story. Our residents loved it. Best wishes to the Jayhawks and Coach Self!
Long, long ago, atop Mount Oread lived a mother Jayhawk and her three little baby birds. The three little Jayhawks grew so big, their mother said to them, “You are so big. It is time for you to go to KU to study and build houses for yourselves.” “But”, she warned, “take care that the big, bad NC Tarheel doesn’t catch you!”
So, the three little birds set off. “We will take care that the Tarheel doesn’t catch us,” they vowed.
On Jayhawk Boulevard, they met a man carrying a shaft of Kansas wheat straw.
“Please, will you give me some straw?” asked the first little Jayhawk.
“I want to build a house for myself.” “Sure” said the man and he gave the first little bird some straw. The first little Jayhawk built himself a house of Kansas wheat straw. He was very content. “Now the Tarheel won’t catch me,” he said.
“I shall build a stronger house,” said the second little bird. “Me, too,” said the third one. The two little Jayhawks walked along Jayhawk Boulevard. Soon, they met a girl carrying Walnut branches she had gathered in Marvin Grove.
“Please, will you give me some sticks?” asked the second little bird. “I want to build a house for myself.” “Alright,” she said and gave the second little bird some sticks. Then the second little Jayhawk built a house of Walnut tree sticks. It was stronger than the house of wheat straw. He was very pleased. “Now the Tarheel won’t catch me.” he said.
“I shall build a stronger house than yours,” said the third little Jayhawk.
The third little bird traveled on. Soon, he met a man hauling Rock Chalk limestone. “Please, will you give me some limestone?” asked the third little Jayhawk. “I want to build a house for myself.” “Yes,” said the man and he gave the third little bird some stone. Then the third little Jayhawk built himself a house of Rock Chalk limestone. He was very happy. “Now the Tarheel won’t catch me,” he said.
The next day, the big, bad NC Tarheel came along the Boulevard. He came upon the house of straw. When the first little Jayhawk saw the Tarheel, he ran inside his straw house and shut the door. The Tarheel scratched on the door and said,
“Little bird, little bird, let me in.”
“Oh, no,” said the first little bird. “Not by the feathers of my chinny chin chin will I let you in.”
“Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house in!” said the Tarheel.
So, he huffed and puffed and he puffed and he huffed. Down fell the house of wheat with wheat waving everywhere in the wind. The first little bird was too fast for the Tarheel, and he quickly ran to the house of the second little Jayhawk.
The Tarheel slunk further along the Boulevard. He came to the house of sticks. The two little birds ran inside and shut the door. The Tarheel scratched at the door. “Little birds, little birds, let me in.”
“Oh, no,” said the little birds. “Not by the feathers of our chinny chin chins will we let you in!”
“Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow this house in.” said the Tarheel.
So he huffed and puffed and he puffed and he huffed. Down fell the house of sticks with a great clap. But the two little Jayhawks were too fast for the Tarheel, and they quickly ran to the house of the third little Jayhawk.
The Tarheel move on along the Boulevard. Soon, he came to the house of Rock Chalk limestone. When they saw the Tarheel coming, all three little birds ran into the house and shut the door. The Tarheel scratched on the door and said, “Little birds, little birds, let me in.”
“Oh, no,” said the three little Jayhawks. “Not by the feathers of our chinny chin chins will we let you in!”
“Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house in,” said the Tarheel.
So he huffed and he puffed and he puffed and he huffed.
But the house of Rock Chalk limestone did not fall.
The Tarheel was very angry, but he pretended not to be. He thought to himself, “If I want to catch these little birds, then I must pretend to be their friend.” So the Tarheel said, “Little birds, be ready at six o’clock in the morning, and I will take you to the Farmer’s Market. We will find some nice bird seed for breakfast.”
“Very well” agreed the little birds.
But the little birds were clever little birds. The next morning they set off for the Farmer’s Market at five o’clock in the morning. They filled their basket with bird seed and hurried home.
At six o’clock the Tarheel knocked on the door. “Are you ready little birds?” he asked. “Oh, we have been to the Farmer’s Market already.” said the three little Jayhawks. “We filled our basket with seed and now we are eating breakfast.”
The Tarheel was very angry, but he pretended not to be. He said, “Be ready at five o’clock this evening and I will take you to the pear trees by the Chi-O fountain. We will pick some nice juicy pears.”
“Very well” said the three little birds.
At four o’clock that evening, the three little Jayhawks set off for the Chi-O fountain and found the pear trees. They were up in a tree, picking some juicy pears, when the Tarheel came along. The little birds were very frightened, but pretended not to be. The third little Jayhawk said, “These are fine pears, Mr. Tarheel. We’ll throw you some.” They threw down some pears. Startled, the Tarheel jumped back and fell into the Chi-O fountain. Not liking the water of the town’s first round-about, he began to cry. The little birds jumped out of the pear trees. They quickly ran back to the limestone house and shut the door.
The Tarheel was very angry, but he still pretended not to be. He went to the third little bird’s house and knocked on the door. “Little birds,” he said, “if you will be ready at four o’clock tomorrow afternoon, I will take you to Potter Lake. We will have fun skipping rocks from the bridge.”
“Very well,” said the little birds.
At two o’clock the following afternoon, the three little Jayhawks set off for Potter Lake. They had great fun, playing on the bridge and skipping rocks across the lake. Then they found a big Kansas basketball. As the little birds were going home, dribbling the basketball, they saw the Tarheel coming up Memorial Drive. At the right moment, the three little Jayhawks executed a perfect Ally-oop, and knocked the Tarheel in the head. Not knowing what had hit him, the Tarheel fell to the ground. The three little birds scooped up the basketball and hurried home.
Later in the evening, the very wet Tarheel knocked on the third little Jayhawk’s door. He said, “Little birds, I didn’t go to Potter Lake today. A great big thing flew out of nowhere, hit me in the head, and knocked me over.”
“Ha-ha!” laughed the little birds. “That was us, Team Jayhawk, and our new basketball!” They laughed so hard they fell on the floor.
When the Tarheel heard this, he was very, VERY angry.
He said, “Little Jayhawks, I am going to climb down your chimney and eat you!”
All three little Jayhawks were very frightened, but they kept their cool. They put a big pot on the fire.
The Tarheel climbed on the roof and plunged down the chimney. As soon as he fell into the pot, the little birds slammed down the lid.
And that was the end of the big, bad NC Tarheel.
The clever little Jayhawks used up the melted tar on KU’s wind-damaged roofs and leaky tunnels.
The End
