You won’t catch me shedding any tears over the current plight of Michigan University’s football team.
I’ve had no love lost for the Wolverines since way back in September of 1979, when Kansas traveled to Ann Arbor, Mich., and the UM athletic department treated me like : well, let me tell you about it.
If you’ve ever been to Michigan Stadium, you’ve probably wondered why its nickname is “The Big House,” because there’s no house there. A more fitting nickname would be “The Big Ditch.”
Michigan dug a hole – a huge hole, granted – and installed more than 100,000 seats. In fact, no Kansas football team ever has played in front of a crowd larger than the 100,228 who showed up on that day in ’79 to watch UM trim the Jayhawks, 28-7.
I remember little about the game itself, but I do recall having to park somewhere near Detroit and lugging a computer – they were much heavier in those days – to the press box. Then there was the postgame experience.
At most colleges, the standard operating procedure is to allow the media working in the press box to go down to the sidelines with five minutes remaining. This allows scribes and throats to avoid swimming against the departing fans on their way to the postgame media sessions.
However, at Michigan, you must go out through the chain-link fence that surrounds the big ditch and walk around to the other side in order to access the visiting team’s locker room.
What’s wrong with walking a little farther? Nothing. I’m not belly-aching about that. The problem was re-entry. Whereas most schools issue one press pass for universal access, Michigan gave us two additional pasteboards for use after the game – one to get back inside and the other to re-enter the press box elevator.
Thus after I had interviewed coach Don Fambrough and a handful of KU players, I headed for the nearest gate in the fence around the stadium. It was locked, of course, but an attendant was standing nearby.
I showed him my re-entry pass, and he said he was sorry, but he couldn’t let anybody in. Huh??? But I’m a sports writer covering the game, I told him, and I need to return to the press box to do my job, and I have this pass and :
Minutes went by as I tried to cajole John Wayne Jr. to let me in. About that time, Bob Hentzen, the late sports editor of the Topeka Capital-Journal, came on the scene. Hentzen couldn’t get in, either.
Finally, after we walked up and down the fence trying to find someone who would listen to our plea, we came across a supervisor who walked over to the gate and told the Buckingham Palace guard to let us in.
As we hurried away from the gate, Hentzen and I wondered out loud if we would receive the same treatment while attempting to re-access the press box. We didn’t. The postgame elevator pass worked like a charm.
Nevertheless, Hentzen, whose nickname was “Good Ol’ Boy” and whose mantra was “Be a Booster,” was so ticked by that experience and a couple of other UM indignities that he stepped out of character and wrote a scathing column.
Meanwhile, I kept my peace. Until now.
If Michigan doesn’t beat Notre Dame on Saturday, the Wolverines will start 0-3 for the first time in 70 years. Go Irish.
