Scott McClurg/Journal-World PhotoJeff Graves plops his 6-foot-9, 269-pound body onto an oversized bed in his Kansas University campus apartment and tucks himself tightly under the covers.
Graves craves sweet dreams, but what he gets instead are nightmares — bad dreams that terrorize him, transform him into an insomniac in the middle of the night.
“I still have dreams of me spinning in the car, or something even more horrible like me flying through the windshield,” said Graves, the Jayhawks’ junior men’s basketball power forward who suffered head trauma as a passenger in an automobile accident off I-435 on Sept. 8 in Kansas City.
Graves had been napping in the front passenger seat, opening his eyes right before the driver — a friend of his — lost control of the vehicle into a highway median.
“A buddy of mine was in the back seat saying, ‘Wake up,'” Graves recalled. “The last thing I remember was opening my eyes, seeing the car hitting the median rail, doing a couple of 360s and bouncing back.
“I snapped the seat belt. I ended up in the back seat with one leg over (the front seat). I was pinching myself like, ‘Am I alive?'”
Thankfully, Graves was alive, as was the driver, who did not suffer any injuries, and also the back-seat passenger, who, like Graves, climbed out of the totaled vehicle with “just” a concussion.
Not that a concussion is anything Graves would wish on his worst enemy.
For the first time, the transfer from Iowa Western Community College tells the story of the agony he went through immediately after the accident and the two weeks he spent recuperating in his hometown of Lee’s Summit, Mo., before returning to KU.
“I was in the ambulance passed out. I remember waking up and saying, ‘What am I doing in an ambulance? This isn’t supposed to happen to me,'” said Graves. He was treated for bumps, bruises, scrapes and his concussion at North Kansas City Hospital, but didn’t have to spend the night.
“It’s like a light came on, telling me, ‘Don’t you ever take life for granted now. Don’t screw around. Take it a lot more serious.’ I mean that could have been my life right there. It reminds you to make every day count,” Graves said.
That was one of the profound thoughts Graves had the next couple of weeks.
“It was horrible. I did nothing but sit on my back in bed. I was in bed on my back stiffed up just feeling like I was on a death bed,” Graves said. “My mom was scared, crying and stuff like that. I was really out of it.
“My mom said I woke up from a dead sleep one time and said, ‘I need some hot dogs from Steak and Shake.’ I didn’t even remember saying that. I was pretty messed up.”
Graves felt strong enough during the second week home to visit a chiropractor for treatments. He was able to return to KU on Sept. 23 and after several days eased onto the stationary bike as he geared for the start of his first KU training camp in mid-October.
“Nobody understands but me,” Graves said of what he went through following the accident. “It was real hard emotionally and physically — emotionally because I was going through something where I felt I could have died.
“Reading all the newspapers and stuff like that, it’s like nobody really understood except me and my family. The newspapers said I had a ‘slight’ concussion. It was more than that. It was a lot more serious than that.”
Graves said he gained some inspiration from his teammates, who were eager to lend support.
“They heard my story and said, ‘No, just work hard. This will be a comeback for you. It’ll be a positive,'” he explained. “They kept boosting my confidence and said I could come back.”
Graves had some shaky practices early, struggling in post-practice sprints and during his many attempts to pass coach Roy Williams’ annual running test — at least 6 1/2 laps of the Memorial Stadium track in 12 minutes.
In fact, Graves was criticized by fans and media members for his flabby condition and inability to pass the running test and become an official member of KU’s team.
It’s criticism that stung and didn’t subside until he passed the test on Nov. 6.
“He is kind of sensitive, actually, for a big guy. Things people say get to him. He’s the most sensitive big guy I know,” Kansas power forward Wayne Simien said. “Sensitive in he lets what people say bother him, criticism and stuff like that.”
Now in shape and in the good graces of KU’s head coach and fans, Graves says it’s been rewarding watching people get to know him. He may look intimidating with his bear-like body, tattoos and cornrowed hair, but he’s really not.
“You can think whatever you want to, but unless you talk to me you see I’m a pretty nice kid, regardless of the tattoos and hair,” Graves said. “They don’t know the real Jeff Graves like my mom, closest friends, teammates do. People see the braids and say, ‘He’s a thug.'”
As far as the cornrows … he calls ’em “braids” because “that’s what they are,” Graves said. “I’ve probably had them three years.”
He likes the hairstyle enough to have made it a factor in recruiting last year, his sophomore All-America season at Iowa Western CC.
“It was not really a big issue,” Graves said, “but coach (Quin) Snyder’s assistant at Missouri, he was like, ‘Well, to be a man here, a Tiger, you’ve got to cut your braids.’ I was like, ‘Oh.’
“Coach Williams, on my trip he said, ‘Is there anything else you need to talk to me about?’ I said, ‘Do you care about the braids? Do I have to cut ’em?’ He said, ‘No. I recruited you like that, son.'”
The braids can throw people off, Simien indicated.
“People take his looks into consideration. They see the braids and the tattoos and stereotype that people automatically assume he’s a thug,” Simien said. “He’s a nice down to earth guy and pleasure to work with.”
Graves said he wants to ultimately reward KU’s coach for recruiting him, the players and fans for sticking with him. He believes he can start producing offensively as he did a year ago when he averaged 16.6 points a game.
“Last year, I scored a little bit inside and out and a little bit in the mid post area. It’s where Wayne is scoring right now,” said Graves, who averages 2.1 points and 3.0 boards while logging 9.8 minutes a game in 10 games. “Eventually I see myself like at Iowa Western. My first year I had to get into it and work into the program. I didn’t play that much. My second year I did better. I probably look at starting next year — if not this year — and work my way up.”
Williams says Graves has been working hard, but hasn’t played well enough to log more minutes.
“Jeff Graves is working better,” the coach said. “With Jeff, Moulaye (Niang), the bottom line is you have to be able to be effective. If a play calls for Jeff Graves or Moulaye to set a down screen you can’t say, ‘All right coach.’ You’ve got to do it when the ball is in play.
“You do it in the game. There’s accountability, responsibility. I haven’t given up on anybody. We’re working hard, I’m pushing hard.”
Graves is healthy and he’s trying.
“My new hobby would be working out so I don’t get out of shape,” he said. “It’s much more serious here than junior college. Up there it’s not all fun and games, but this is more serious, and I think I’m learning and becoming more comfortable and I expect to contribute. I love it here and couldn’t have picked a better school.”
And he’ll fulfill his one New Year’s resolution.
“My resolution would be to not get in any wrecks and come near death,” Graves said, “scaring my family like that and scaring KU like that.”
