What’s yellow, made of rubber, and worn by posers all over?If Lance Armstrong knew what he’d created he would stop climbing the hilltops of France and stick a spoke through someone’s head.Someone needs to stop this inspirational rubber band fad. Now. ![][1]Just like the designated hitter and the McDonald’s All-American game, the wristband fad started with the best intentions. After winning the 2004 Tour de France, Armstrong began selling [yellow rubber wristbands][2] for a buck a piece, with the benefits going to cancer research.Soon, they were everywhere. 40 million frat boys, school teachers, and Oprah viewers later, the Livestrong band was a national phenomenon. Workers at McDonalds were wearing them. So were Bill Self and John Kerry two guys with great hair and little success in the clutch.You can’t go anywhere without seeing a rubber wristband and, sadly, it’s growing quite tiresome.In America, all great ideas (like Woodstock) are brought down by imposters (Woodstock ’99). If there are 40 million versions of the original wristband floating about, there must now be 80 million imitations.Weight Watchers has created its own rubber wristband for the dieters. School kids in Tonganoxie now wear red “Tongie” bands the brainchild of an opportunistic athletics director. Hy-Vee shoppers can buy knock-off yellow bands from Korea while waiting in the checkout line, with the proceeds going to towards “finding a cure for AIDS and cancer.”Personally, I bought mine at the bowling alley.Two weeks ago, after polishing off a sub-100 score and a pitcher of beer I headed out of Royal Crest Lanes. There, at the gumball machines at the main entrance, was a contraption selling stylish hopes to the bowling masses. For a mere 50 cents, you could buy your own wristband.The proceeds didn’t go towards any cause, but they were inscribed with a personal message. I deposited a couple of quarters and received one with the imprint of “courage.” Another friend bought one that said, “spirit,” and we bought one last one touting, “pride.”For the low, low price of 50 cents, I bought into the trend that won’t go away.As a protest, I’m going to wear my “courage” band until the yellow wrist bands go away. After all, I had the courage to hang out at the bowling alley (that should mean something in this town), so now I’ll have the courage to single handedly make the fad stop. The wristbands have gone far past the premise of cancer research. It is now a full-blown, poser-tainted frat fad.Somewhere over in France, Armstrong is probably shaking his head.**So Long, Tony**So where do the Royals go from here?Let’s make one point clear this mess was not Tony Pena’s fault. However, it’s always the manager who gets blamed and it looks like Pena is taking the fall for the Royals horrific start.But who is going to do better?Larry Bowa? Please. Frank White? Yeah, right.Managers always look smarter when they have the players. That’s why Joe Torre is now a genius after he was fired by the Cardinals and Mets. That’s why Clint Hurdle looks like an idiot guiding a team of scrubs in Denver.Let’s get the players, and then let’s start blaming the manager. Let’s see Allard Baird take some of the heat for making this minor league roster compete in the majors.However, if you really want to know the real gossip about Pena’s off-the-field problems, check out some of the crazy rumors [here.][3]Note: for entertainment purposes only. None of these rumors have any kind of substance yet. [1]: http://morzsa.ceadsearc.com/livestrong2.jpg [2]: http://66.179.198.182/News_Events/News/pr-20050322.cfm [3]: http://www.royalboard.com/baseball/messages/5311.html