Saturday, April 21, 2012

Georgia prep Tony Parker to pick Monday


Tony Parker, a 6-foot-9, 265-pound senior basketball center from Miller Grove High in Lithonia, Ga., will announce his college choice in a 3 p.m. news conference Monday at his school. He has a final list of Kansas University, UCLA, Georgia, Duke and Ohio State.

The No. 27-rated player in the Class of 2012 is said to be favoring UCLA.


ahpersecoachingexperience 10 years, 7 months ago

I'd even settle for just "Kansas" over "Kansas University"

Michael Bratisax 10 years, 7 months ago

How about leaving the cheap shots behind as well?

Keith Kienzle 10 years, 7 months ago

Solomon, Keegan has turned over a new leaf in about the last 3 months... Almost every single article he has written since then has been thoughtful, even-keeled, well researched, well formed journalism. Tom, thanks again for putting in the effort.

Ted Hume 10 years, 7 months ago

Can everyone who uses this site please agree to just drop the whole "Kansas University" issue once and for all? Please. Double-please. It's been like how many years of countless posts and counter posts? Sorry, but this horse died long, long ago...

OK, now back to Parker and his enormous girth...

KU79 10 years, 7 months ago

When I took Latin at KU, (yeah I took Latin, don't remember why, I think a girl might have been involved...) I remember the professor said the translation of the university seal "Universatitis Kansiensis" is Kansas University, fwiw.

jaybate 10 years, 7 months ago

"None of my steamed colleagues pays enough retention to consistency. For those that prefer high pot in use of University of Kansas, then it should be micro abbreviated in short as UK.

However, and where for those non-steamed that call it in good bad faith Kansas University, then and therefore it should be called KU.

On the other extremis with metacarpal phylanges, we thus are encumbered with such great hobgoblins giving such consistency to the apogees and perigees of small cerebra that we must then infer by deduction that it is penultimately and ultimately .irreducible conflict that cannot now, or ever, at least in the short term, be resolved, and so must be said to be meritorious of irreducible conflicts worthy of Elizabethan Taylor dramas with Shaquillespearian magnitudes of tragedy."

--Professor Irwin jaybate

jaybate 10 years, 7 months ago

Class dismissed except for the comely young lady in the front row with the long legs and stiletto, who will forthwith be disgnated by class monitor and masseuse.

JHawk74 10 years, 7 months ago

It should be University of Kansas or KU or Kansas or Kansas Jayhawks but never 'Kansas University'. I wish LJW would listen to their readers and correct their common mistake.

Parker would be a great addition. The University of Kansas would be loaded in the Power Forward and Center positions for next year. If Parker picks Kansas do you think someone(s) will redshirt or transfer? It seems the Kansas Jayhawks should be looking to add another guard also. Of course none of us fans are completely sure what position Ellis will play (Bill Self and staff probably have a good idea). We assume he will play in the post mostly with the ability to step out and make 15-20 foot shots. We really don't know if Tharpe is a PG or a SG. We never saw him play enough to see what the future is for him. We know Johnson will start at PG, Withey as the starting Center and Releford as starting SF. Ben McLemore probably will be the starting SG from what we hear. It seems there are about 4-5 possible Power Forwards competing for the last starting spot. Last year we had very little competition for starting spots, this year we have several spots with competition and have a much better bench.

Rock Chalk Jayhawk!

John Randall 10 years, 7 months ago

This is true: It should be University of Kansas or KU or Kansas or Kansas Jayhawks but never 'Kansas University'. I wish LJW would listen to their readers and correct their common mistake.

This also true: It should no longer be debated by primrose pussies and clumsy clodhoppers who will neither admit that their University (unlike any other in the state) has never felt the need to change its name.

Ryan Mullen 10 years, 7 months ago

And boom goes the dynamite. Thank your for finding that Manginorhoolz.

nuleafjhawk 10 years, 7 months ago

And now for something completely different (homage to Monty Python's Flying Circus).

UKU - University of Kansas University

Vernon Riggs 10 years, 7 months ago

I had friends that went to Friends University in Central Kansas.

Martin Rosenblum 10 years, 7 months ago

Uh oh! I feel an Oakville list coming on....

Tony Bandle 10 years, 7 months ago

You are full of relatives this weekend.....but I'll catch you next time!! :) Oh well, just one...KU - Kansas Universe!!

Martin Rosenblum 10 years, 7 months ago

It's not a list, but as usual, it's genius! Wish I was in a house full of relatives on a Saturday like you (not).

Greg Lux 10 years, 7 months ago

What now you want us to cheer Go K? What the H... is the U for then? Me personally I like Go KU....

Rock Chalk

Michael Sillman 10 years, 7 months ago

If this Parker kid is really going to do a hat ceremony, then he can go to UCLA for all I care. That kind of self-centered ego is rarely good for team chemistry.

Brian Conrad 10 years, 7 months ago

just a UCLA mole on our webpage... Come to KU Mr. Parker. you will get better and more prepared for the NBA here than any place .. kids get better when they play here .. FACT! .. no real Jaythawk fan would ever talk crud on a top recruit.. only moles from other schools with zero class.

ironhead80 10 years, 7 months ago

KU can do without him, I believe Parker is pampered player and seems abit of a lazy player without a motor. I know he won't pick KU because he will have to earn his playing time here.Parker will go to UCLA, you heard it her first.

championhawks 10 years, 7 months ago

Yes we definitely heard it from you first... not the many other posts and articles (including the one above!) that says he has been favoring UCLA!

Kye Clark 10 years, 7 months ago

Yep. Breaking news indeed. Thanks for the crack reporting you've done on this topic.

Ryan Mullen 10 years, 7 months ago

Dude you should start a website called You could post you heard it here first after a gazillion articles have been written and then you get can have the all the glory.

fansincewilt 10 years, 7 months ago

I think Parker could really benefit from Coach Self and our strength and conditioning program. I think they could make a beast out of him.

Michael Bratisax 10 years, 7 months ago

Agree..and we could benefit having a talented big with Parker's wide body. Parker could be one of those 3-4 year players that HCBS has had so much success with. I've heard the 'work in progress' comments but isn't that what most freshman are?

ATexasJayhawk 10 years, 7 months ago

It would be nice to have this kid, but he's a body in process. Watching him in all star play, he has the tools for sure, but he plays below the rim and tires easily which shouldn't be the case this time of year especially. At KU, I believe he's a year away from significant playing time and he wants to play a bunch right away. I still like next years squad with Withey at the big, Traylor's body pounding opponents for minutes spelling him, Ellis knocking down jump shots and finessing from the top of key, Young should be a shooting threat with energy and the young frosh developing. Even Wesley should improve in contribution, we'll be fine without TP.

gchawk 10 years, 7 months ago

njjay, come on man, he's just following a fad. Maybe it isn't something that we necessarily appreciate or condone, but it's definitely not "moronic". Lighten up a little bit. Like a lot of folks here, I'd love to have this young man on our team.

mitch 10 years, 7 months ago

Save the hat tricks for hockey. If this young man truly wants to succeed at the next level, he'll choose KU where knowledgeable and devoted fans unite with hard working athletes to create the ultimate roundball experience. Rock Chalk Jayhawk Go KU!

Andy Godwin 10 years, 7 months ago

I am quite surprised that Ben Howland is able to attracted topnotch talent after all that has gone on at UCLA recently. There were questions that he would even retain his job after the poor season (UCLA was not even invited to the NIT) and the Sports Illustrated report that alleged Howland had lost control of the program as evident by the handling of Reeves Nelson until he was dismissed. Somehow he has been able to recruit Kyle Anderson, Jordan Adams, and Shabazz Muhammad and now Tony Parker??? College athletics and recruiting is a true mystery. Obviously, there is pressure to get the best talent. Coaches and players are willing to break the rules, since the impropriates aren't discover until long after the player leaves and the coach moves on. The young athletics of today are a different breed, and they are looking for instant gratification and guarantees before stepping onto the court. Calipari has unfortunately glorified the one-and-done in college basketball, but in the long run I appreciate the approach of coaches such as Bill Self who develop the less highly rated recruits into players and good human beings. College athletics are much more entertaining, primarily from the pride one has for their school and student athletes who represent us. I recently attended a pro basketball game and was utterly bored. No team play, no enthusiasm, no fun at all. Self will continue to try and get the top notch players, but the fun will be watching how he and his coaches teach team concepts and develop players over their three, four or five years. I don't know much about Parker other than what I read and the glitz and glam of LA and the treatment by alums and others can way heavily on the decision of 17 and 18 year olds who don't typically come from backgrounds of wealth and prosperity. If Self has tried hard to recruit Parker to The University of Kansas, then he must have the personality and potential to fit into his system. I hope he would chose KU, but I can't remember if any high rated player has ever donned a cap in our favor in these types of ceromonies. I hope young Parker chooses wisely. Rock Chalk!

KEITHMILES05 10 years, 7 months ago

He will not be coming to KU but Georgia or UCLA.

april28 10 years, 7 months ago

And what's interesting about this, is that those are probably the two worst choices of the bunch. Sometimes, we all can over-think a decision and end up with the wrong choice. I assume that UGA is for his mom and UCLA is because of Shabbaz (sp). He'd be better off choosing the school that fits best for him.

baldwinjhawk 10 years, 7 months ago

Your right, it's UCLA. They will have their one and done class. The Pac12 sucks

Jack Wilson 10 years, 7 months ago

I was thinking about predicting that Parker would go to UCLA, but other posters beat me to it. I can't imagine how they came to that conclusion.

I saw akegjenkintown's post: He said "The young athletics of today are a different breed, and they are looking for instant gratification and guarantees before stepping onto the court. Calipari has unfortunately glorified the one-and-done in college basketball, but in the long run I appreciate the approach of coaches such as Bill Self who develop the less highly rated recruits into players and good human beings."

Please be reminded that this is NOT coach Self's approach. Coach Self is recruiting the top guys. He just isn't getting them .. meaning the top 10 type guys. Muhammad, Tarc, etc. were major targets he didn't get.

But I think the point is really "who cares?" I don't. I am convinced that Coach Self's system works better with the next tier of top guys. 20-70 perhaps -- but the higher, the better.

I will say I do not like having to fall back on the Traylors, Lucases, and Peters of the world. Give me the Morrises (#29/#49) and Robinsons (#31) and Arthurs (#16) and Aldriches (#30) of the world all day. I think the tide is turning a bit here with posters recognizing the difference between the unranked and barely ranked guys, and the list I just mentioned.

I continue to maintain that Parker (#27) is a big get if we can land him. Traylor/Lucas/Peters (depth trio) aren't in the same league as this guy. He is an immediate upgrade, makes us better immediately, and immediately will be a solid part of the rotation. The only reason we say that about any of our "depth trio" is solely because there is no one else (reminder, my comments are related to 2012-13 .. I think any one of these guys could develop over time. But it is unrealistic to expect any one of them will be impact players next season, or really even the as sophomores).

The same conversation was had last off season about Wesley. How many here were nearly orgasmic about Wesley, his athleticism, that coach Self must see something, that he's ready to explode having been in practice/Self's system preparing, etc? What we saw was a guy that played solely because we had no one else, and a guy that should not be in our rotation again.

Talent generally wins out. We have a coach that maximizes what he has, which is our advantage. Getting Parker adds a major tool to Coach Self's work belt, and a guy that brings a physical presence with the ability to score down low. For the Self is God crowd .. you have to want him because Self wants him, and Self is always right .. right?


Jeeveshawk 10 years, 7 months ago

It would be foolish not to go after the top 10 guys at all, but I don't think he goes after them as hard as he goes after the TRob type players, who eventually become better than any freshman.

jaybate 10 years, 7 months ago

Greene will fall precipitously, if associates with us long.

jaybate 10 years, 7 months ago

Parker would be a gigantic get.

It just seems doubtful that we will get him, because:

a) there is less competition at the other programs he is considering; and

b) these kind of late season recruiting episodes in which the decision is postponed a few times have the appearance of ebay auctions with their time limits being extended, so that a few more bids can be upped, and KU does not seem to be involved in the bidding wars, but rather is being used to blood the bidders into bidding more.

Why Parker would be so huge?

  1. He is tall, a wide load, and highly ranked; this is something we do not have in any of our recruits or newly eligible sophomores.

  2. Losing Thomas, we desperately need a physical stud in the paint to come through. Peters is a possibility, but it is always better to have two possibilities among freshman bigs than one for anything you need, because freshman bigs almost always are foul prone. Having Peters and Parker would ensure we could stay big at the 4-5 whenever we wanted to.

  3. Self likely promised Ellis he would play 3 in order to land him. Self and Ellis' relationship, and Self's relationship with other coaches and future recruits would go a lot better, if he can land Parker and free Perry up for playing a lot of 3.

  4. Of all the guys we have, Parker would be the only guy truly qualified to set moving picks in the bang era--especially against the Big Ten teams we have to play in the Madness, and against new add West Virginia ini conference.

  5. Self has never really had a wide body and he would like to have one, simply because everyone else does, and because they cause so many match-up problems.

  6. Parker would be the only one of our guys big enough and strong enough and talented enough out of the box to keep opposing teams honest in their abuse of jeff Withey.

Other than that, landing Parker means hardly anything at all. :-)

MeanderingHawk 10 years, 7 months ago


Although the comments in his interview about Hudy, made me hopeful. It makes me think this guy KNOWS what his weakness is and what he needs to work on if he wants to get a high rank in the NBA draft.

Plus Merv maybe just maybe.

Jack Wilson 10 years, 7 months ago

Here's what says about Parker: "With his combination of size and skill level, Parker is one of the elite big men in the 2012 class. He is a space eater in the post who can carve out position on the block. When watching him play you quickly see the skill he possesses; once he catches he has an array of post moves he is capable of throwing at you, led by the left shoulder jump hook. He is very adept at facing the basket from 15' where his soft touch enables him to knock down a jump shot or drive the ball one or two dribbles to the rim. His greatest attribute though is his tremendous hands which are soft and sticky."

So please stop saying we don't want this guy, or don't care .. simply because it appears that he is a UCLA lean. This is the exact guy we want here for 2012-13 so we are not rushing or relying upon guys that may not be ready.

Michael Bratisax 10 years, 7 months ago

Nice post HEM and 100% on target. Why so many posters are against TP from coming to KU baffles me.

Maybe its just fear of rejection.

jaybate 10 years, 7 months ago

To put it in a malapropism: it would be fear of premature rejaculation. :-)

Kye Clark 10 years, 7 months ago

Well for the record, I've been indifferent to his recruitment ever since it was announced we were on his radar. It has nothing to do with the likelihood of our chances to land him. If you doubt this, I guess I could go back and provide links to other articles I've commented on saying as much.

Also, I don't think the reason most of the other posters are claiming to not want him or not care is because of the seemingly unlikelihood of him signing with KU. For most of the posts that I've seen, it's the hat thing. Fans have been burned by this ritual so many times, they've just soured on kids doing this. I don't really care how he announces, just so long as he sticks with whatever decision he announces and doesn't let some slimeball get in his ear following the ceremony (ahem, Terrence Jones). Also, the constant pushing back of his announcement date I think has some fans frustrated.

I will agree that he is a decent get. He's not a savior for next season. He's ranked right there where the other bigs you've mentioned (minus Shady) in terms of his ranking. Which means he'll probably contribute minimally as a freshman. The best comparison is probably somewhere in the range of the Morris Twins performance their freshman year. They both came in with only one big in front of them (Cole), so there was playing time to be had, either as a starter or first big off the bench. So we're looking at between 4.5-7.5 ppg, around 4 rpg. Who was the last big to come in as a freshman that was "ready" to be relied upon? Cole wasn't. TRob wasn't. The Morris Twins weren't. Only Shady fits this bill, and again he was ranked quite a bit higher than Parker or the others you listed.

Parker's real value will be in years 2 & 3 (assuming he stays 3 years). With Withey being a senior, Parker could step right in the following year. Are we in on any highly ranked bigs for the '13 class? None immediately come to mind, so it is in this respect that I would welcome bringing Parker in.

Kye Clark 10 years, 7 months ago

Why I am indifferent is because I think by year two we might have developed one of the other bigs we have to where that player is a solid rotation player and not a drag on the team. I know you're big on taking what Coach Self says and using that to gauge how well some of these prospects might be out of the box. You've linked the language used to describe Wesley with that of Traylor in order to damped expectations for Jamari. With that being said, what do you think of Self saying Peters is a top 20 talent? I mean, why would he be so prone to exaggeration with him and not the other kids? Why would he so loftily praise Zach while using general descriptions of athletic ability to characterize others? I look at the rankings too and am more inclined to accept them as a general guide than others are think simply putting on a KU uniform and receiving coaching from this staff will buoy these players to talents higher than their reasonable ceiling. We know that Zach taking the AAU circuit off in lieu of playing prep football probably hurt these rankings somewhat, although maybe not as much as some seem to believe. That being said, I think he's the one to watch in terms of filling the void left by Withey next year.

So if Parker announces that he will be donning the crimson & blue next season I'll happily welcome him in. If he signs Oh well.

John Randall 10 years, 7 months ago

Someone, anyone, please explain the value of the AAU circuit as it pertains to any team sport. Spending time with another sport than basketball is great experience for the player, but it drives all the semi-pro 'handlers' crazy enough to sabotage rankings theses players actually deserve.

Kye Clark 10 years, 7 months ago

KU62 - the value of the AAU circuit is that it allows players to go up against a higher level of competition than they generally see in their high school league/division play night in night out. They are going up against teams on the AAU circuit generally filled with other D-1 talent. This is especially important for bigs, because it allows them to face other bigs on a more regular basis. In high school, a 6'8" guy might have one or two players within their division that are the same height. More times than not that player is posting up against someone maybe 6'4", and while that does present challenges (see Jeff Withey's comments about having smaller guys defend him) it is not an accurate measure of a player's abilities, and does little to prepare him for life in the Big XII (or any other major conference) in which most teams have a couple legitimate bigs.

In short, the AAU circuit is better preparation for D-1 basketball than playing local high schools. There's plenty wrong with AAU basketball, but it does serve a purpose.

10 years, 7 months ago

Marginalization of existential nihilism noted.

And reported :-)

Jeeveshawk 10 years, 7 months ago

Bah! I don't care about this kid anymore than I cared about Shabazz. Why should I when we would have a frontcourt of Withey, Ellis, and Young. I don't see Tony Parker starting over any of those guys.

dylans 10 years, 7 months ago

Parker has much more potential than all of our bigs besides Ellis.

Michael Bratisax 10 years, 7 months ago

Shabazz = one and done. Ellis and Young really don't play the same position and Withey still needs to add more muscle and Parker would be an ideal substitution.

I know Young substituted for Withey a lot last year but that was out of necessity, there was no one else who could contribute at that position.

jaybate 10 years, 7 months ago

What about those that just kept partying? :-)

Martin Rosenblum 10 years, 7 months ago

Tony Parker? He won't come to Lawrence because of the confusion of the name of the school! You know, is it Kansas University or University of Kansas? He found hats with both names on them and got confused so he just said, screw it!

It's all your fault LJW! See what you've done! Now we'll never win a conference championship or go to the Final Four!

Bee Bee 10 years, 7 months ago

Parker can go to UCLA and play in relative obscurity with Shabazz.

en1gmatikk 10 years, 7 months ago

Obscurity? The PAC-12 is so weak that UCLA could conceivably win the league if their incoming recruits live up to even half of their hype. That and Howland battling to keep his job translates into a much better showing from the Bruins this year.

jayhawkinATL 10 years, 7 months ago

Can you say "Bobo Morgan, Part Deaux"???

wonderfulhawk 10 years, 7 months ago

This is to Tony Parker,all jayhawk nation will welcome you with open hands.We hope you choose KU.Good luck in your decison.

jaybate 10 years, 7 months ago

I have kept waiting for the UK trolls to come to the site to gloat, but that has not occurred.

Possible inference: the UK trolls were not from UK.

Perhaps they were from Fizzou, and do to the short attention span of those grinding teeth with meth addictions, maybe Fizzouisti have already forgotten they were ever enemies of KU, or that they ever were in the Big 12.

10 years, 7 months ago

Thus explaining the conspicuous absence of KY_gelatin_cat :-)

Martin Rosenblum 10 years, 7 months ago

They probably know about history repeating itself. The history they are afraid of was written by none other than their beloved Coach Cal.

jaybate 10 years, 7 months ago

A commdius vicus as Jimmy Joyce would say, were he not dead. :-)

Robert Murphy 10 years, 7 months ago

When did Joyce die? My god it's the first I've heard it.

John Randall 10 years, 7 months ago

Perhaps he's off somewhere letting you get a better grip on what your 'needs' really are.

Alohahawk 10 years, 7 months ago

The Scout board lists Kenstinky again as #1 in team rankings, something like 3rd year in a row as #1 in recruiting, with 3 recruits ranked top 25 and a 4th in the top 50. (KU is ranked around #13 or #14 overall.). Coming in they have Noel at #2 and Poytress (sp - #?). Also the center from Kansas(lowest ranked of the 4 - forget his name - about #40). They still have a chance to get Bennett #7. Returning they have Kyle Wiltjer (sp), who KU recruited heavily but he didn't play a lot this past year. Can't remember who else Kenstinky has coming back. They turn players over too fast.

Sorry, Ralster, but who wants/needs KY_Cats?

Brian Conrad 10 years, 7 months ago

one thing player rankings do not take into account we will have two second year players from day one.. add McLemore and Traylor to the class and KU would be #1 for sure !!!

Alohahawk 10 years, 7 months ago

Double-checked Scouts's recruiting list for Kenstinky. I forgot Archie Goodwin #14 (I had hoped KU could get him. He recently said KU was his 2nd choice.) Corrections: Willie Cauley #48 (center from Kansas), and Poythress is #8 (not #7). Still in the running for: Bennett #7, and Amile Jefferson #21. Don't think any of those listed are PG material, and I don't know who they have currently to fill that position.

Vernon Riggs 10 years, 7 months ago

they have Ryan Harrow the PG that transfered from North Carolina State, they are covered

Kye Clark 10 years, 7 months ago

Like UK and the PG situation, I had this covered too :)

Kye Clark 10 years, 7 months ago

As Aloha illustrated, it's a pretty good class. Maybe not on par with some of their past classes, but good nonetheless. Definitely top 10. Willie Cauley is nothing special, at least not out of the box. He does have length, so he may be one of the few players that can develop over time, but I wouldn't look for much from him this year. Goodwin is the real deal. Not too broken up about missing out on him, as we appear loaded at the 2-3 for the foreseeable future, but he's a great talent. No info here regarding Poythress, but probably pretty good based on his rankings. All in all, probably adds up to the #1 ranked class. If UCLA lands Parker, I think maybe they steal the top spot.

As for Aloha's point about their PG issue, last year Ryan Harrow transferred to UK from NC State and sat out the year, so he'll be eligible this upcoming season. He was the #19 ranked player by rivals in 2010.

Alex Peekeaton 10 years, 7 months ago

UK's incoming class is ranked #1 right now and has a real good shot of adding #1 PF Bennett (#7 overall)...landing Bennett would arguably make this the greatest class of all time. 1. (C) Noel (#1) - Player compared to Anthony Davis
2. (SF) Alex Poythress (#8) - the second coming of Kidd-Gilchrist with a better shot. Shabazz said he is the best defender he has faced all year.
3. (SG) Goodwin (#14) - Great length at 6'5 and gets to the rim as well as anyone. Can also play backup point guard. 4. (C) Cauley (#38) - athletic shot blocker with length and will backup Noel.

NC State transfer PG Ryan Harrow (#19 in 2010 class) was able to practice all year and should have a better year than Teague. Add Kyle Wiltjer (#19) and SG/SF Jon Hood (#40 - out last year with ACL). This team will be starting 5 players ranked in the top 20 out of high school - not sure if any other team in the country can say that...better to play UK early next year rather than later.

Alohahawk 10 years, 7 months ago

I was just over on the Scout website and they directed to a blog over on which suggested that KSU's Coach Weber is interested in scheduling a KSU vs Missery game to be played in KC's Sprint Center. Is that a false rumor, or is there any validity to it? Obviously, most of the posters were outraged, as am I.

Alohahawk 10 years, 7 months ago

Outraged because K State is willing to play MU in Kansas City, which gives MU better exposure (for recruiting) in the area. Any local (KC) recruits would know they have a chance to play in front of friends/family in the KC area.

I would also hope that Big 12 schools would shun MU, at least for a number of years, because they abandoned the conference. Similar in one sense to KU never accommodating the turncoats again in any sport.

jaybate 10 years, 7 months ago

Captain Aloha,

I know you are unhappy, but life is like a bowl of prophylactics sometimes. You never know what color you will get, so you always want to make sure you buy the right sized box.

Captain Aloha, I don't know spit about Bruce Weber, except what Sgt. Killmartin said to me once when he caught up with me running across the Eurasian land mass, after my pet bull dog, Deke, died. Here is what he said, Captain Aloha.

He said, "jaybate Gump, you stop this running all over the Eurasian land mass about the loss of your damned dog, Deke." Sgt. Killmartin is not one to mince words. He said, "It seems to be a darned site more important for you to be paying attention to Kansas State University hiring a coach who appears to be a penis, than worrying about a dead bull least in the grand scheme of things, jaybate Gump."

You see, Captain Aloha, Sgt. Killmartin said that Coach Weber, he appeared to be forced out at Illinois for being a penis.

And Sgt. Killmartin said that Coach Weber was apparently hired by KSU to be a penis, for as Sgt. Killmartin said, "jaybate Gump, why would they have hired an apparent penis and then insisted he not act like a penis?"

And you know what, Captain Aloha, I could not answer Sgt. Killmartin's question.

For it seemed to me that if Kansas State hired a coach that was apparently a penis, why then it would only make sense that they would then want him to act like one.

By breaking ranks with KU on not scheduling Fizzou, Captain Aloha, I reckon Coach Weber is apparently being a penis, don't you?

Penis is as penis does, as Sgt. Killmartin always says.

Penis, penis, penis.

Why, do you know that Sgt. Killmartin says that the four years before Coach Weber will likely be fired for going .500 and driving down attendance by a third, he is going to act like a penis...because...well, because...why would anyone hire an apparent penis and then not let him act like one?

That Sgt. Killmartin. He is a smart one, isn't he?

So: Sgt. Killmartin reckons all we can do, Captain Aloha, is keep supplies of full body, kevlar prophylactics sized to fit Coach Weber on hand and use them on him conscientiously.

"A penis is a pensis is a penis," was the last thing I heard from Sgt. Killmartin gasping, when he fell behind my pace crossing the Gobi desert.

Captain Aloha, what I am looking forward to is all the students and fans at AFH chanting "We want Coach Martin! We want Martin!" Won't that be something? Won't that rub Coach Weber's the wrong way, eh, Captain Aloha?

Life really is like a box of prophylactics sometimes.

jaybate 10 years, 7 months ago

(Note: of course, the above is entirely fiction and without malice.)

Alohahawk 10 years, 7 months ago

To Commander of CincKsFleet, Admiral Jaybate: Message received - decoded. Stop. Will proceed as directed. Stop. Understand funeral ceremony for predecessor at Illinois still effecting canned coach thought process at current position. Stop. Urgent. "Prophy" bowl inventory low due to Nat'l Championship BB game celebrations. Stop. Advise as to possible future need to celebrate. Red or Blue - Extra large. Stop. Purple or White - Teeny (Note: Rumor Weber and cohorts purchased entire inventory. Old stock - never needed anyway.) End message. Signed: Alohahawk. Basecamp - Honolulu, Hawaii.

All fiction. No malice. :>)

Vernon Riggs 10 years, 7 months ago

I think Parker picks up the Kansas hat on Monday. He seems like a smart player who wants to play in The League someday. Where is the best path to the NBA for a big man? Kansas. Where is the best conditioning coach in the NCAA? Kansas. What does Tony Parker need the most to get the NBA? Conditioning. He knows that even with an log jam with Bigs that Kansas is the place where he can grow to be a NBA player. One look at UCLA's Josh Smith should have Tony running from Pauley Pavilion.

MeanderingHawk 10 years, 7 months ago

With the top 3 schools in Parker's list it seems he's after two options. 1.) Playing for 2-3 yrs, conditioning and improving on his game (KU) or trying for a starting role, lots of playing time and a one n' done career that gets him in the spotlight (Georgia / UCLA).

UCLA has BIGS. David Wear, who had to red shirt last year due to a transfer from NC and his brother (both 6' 10" / 220) Josh Smith (6' 10" 305). I really don't see Parker having a clear shot at starting on the UCLA roster. So is he going to stick around for 2-3 yrs after Shabazz and Anderson leave and hope the team is the same?

Georgia? Big fish small pond, he will start and be a star...but who is watching? They wont get the coverage of bigger and better teams and the SEC is a tough conference, so there is not going to be a title shot and coverage.

Yet the SMART money is on UCLA or Georgia....why?

Hibachi33 10 years, 7 months ago

No way he comes to KU. We are not good at hat ceremony kids......

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