As far as I know, President Bush’s agenda does not include a policy of No Football Fan Left Behind.
Nevertheless, should the president require testing of football fans some day, I feel it is my duty to clear up the confusion about Jacksonville because more states than you think have cities named after Andrew Jackson.
Everybody knows Jacksonville, Fla., is the largest city named after Old Hickory. That Jacksonville has the Jaguars of the NFL and also Jacksonville University, which does not have a football team.
Then there is Jacksonville State, an NCAA Division I-AA school in a small town (pop. 8,404) in Alabama of the same name. This is the Jacksonville team Kansas University will play in football Saturday.
Also, there is a Jacksonville College, a private two-year school in Texas. Like Jacksonville U., Jacksonville College does not have a football program.
To review, Jacksonville University is in Florida, Jacksonville State is in Alabama, and Jacksonville College is in Texas. OK, great. I think you’re ready for the exam. Remember, don’t confuse them with the Jacksonvilles in North Carolina, Oregon, Arkansas, Illinois or New York. Or Jackson, Miss. Or Kansas City’s Jackson County. Or the Jackson Five.
Whew. Maybe this is a good time to take a break and enter the weekly Whack Woodling contest at KUsports.com. You might win a nifty T-shirt if you can outguess me.
Here are my Big 12 Conference picks for this weekend:
North Carolina State 29, Texas Tech 22 — Quarterback shootout matches Tech’s B.J. Symons against State’s Philip Rivers. Tobacco Road too hilly for Texas flatlanders.
Kansas State 30, Marshall 20 — Looks like a battle of backup QBs with KSU’s Ell Roberson and Herd’s Stan Hill ailing. Wildcats still have Darren Sproles, though, and Marshall doesn’t have enough deputies to stop him.
Missouri 39, Middle Tennessee State 9 — Missouri tunes up for next week’s Border War battle with Kansas by mopping up on middling Middlers from Murfreesboro.
Baylor 3, Sam Houston State 2 — Not exactly a replay of the Battle of San Jacinto, but Baylor, like most of its Big 12 brethren, isn’t loathe to schedule Div. I-AA schools.
Oklahoma 24, UCLA 0 — Sooners lost defensive standout Lance Mitchell to knee injury last week, but UCLA’s offense ranks last — that’s right, No. 117 out of 117 — in the nation.
Colorado 16, Florida State 13 — Former Mormon missionary Erik Greenberg takes over at QB for injury-riddled Buffaloes and befuddles Bobby Bowden’s boys.
Oklahoma State 37, SMU 13 — Les Miles faces formidable task this week. How do you motivate your players to face a team that lost to Baylor? Still, ‘Pokes can go through motions and punish pitiful Ponies.
Texas 117, Rice 0 — Smarting from last week’s shocking home loss to Arkansas, Longhorns take it out on Uncle Ben’s boys in Houston. Game won’t start until 8:15 p.m. because of TV, so it may not end until after midnight.
Kansas 52, Jacksonville State 21 — Jayhawks play jacks against Jax State, Div. I-AA foe coming off home loss to vaunted Div. II Northern Alabama.
