It has been 10 days since Kirk Hinrich and his hair showed up in Chicago, and I don’t think I’m going too far out on a limb when I say that many of us are not over the experience yet.
A lot of words have been used to describe the hairstyle of the Bulls’ first-round draft pick, but there are two words that never will be attached to it, not even with bobby pins: street cred.
“Street cred” is the term used to describe whether something plays in urban neighborhoods, and as far as I can tell, Hinrich has the street cred of a horse-drawn buggy.
But there is an outside chance I’m completely wrong, and that’s why, dogged reporter that I am, I asked several stylists what they thought of a coiffure I initially described as “hair by Goober.”
On my mission of mercy, I brought with me a photo of Hinrich from draft day.
“Oh, he’s got to get his style changed. He’s way out of date,” said Vince Mula of the Hubbard Street Hair Studio.
“Too much hair,” co-worker Kelly Butt said. “We’ve kind of streamlined all that stuff on the bangs. It’s pretty gone. That was good George Clooney about four years ago.”
“The long sideburns are fine,” Mula said. “He could basically keep the same style, but much shorter. If he wants to be even cooler, he could put some highlights in his hair. You might as well throw a little goatee on the guy, too. Basketball players are cool looking. He’s not cool looking.”
“Tell him to get out of Kansas,” Butt said. “Tell him he’s now in Chicago.”
We’ve tried telling him this, in so many words, and we have been met with a certain amount of resistance, to put it kindly.
“As for my hairstyle, I really don’t care,” Hinrich said.
Are we being shallow? Of course we are. We’re below-sea-level shallow, and we’re offering no apologies for it, either.
“I really don’t think most of the people look at him because of his hair,” said Hinrich’s mother, Nancy. “They look at him because of what kind of person he is and what type of competitor he is and how he treats people.”
I soldier on, knowing that what’s at stake here is bigger than competitiveness and good manners. This hairstyle could spawn a style revolution in Chicago, and all sorts of Hinrich Youth could be roaming around looking for butter to churn. We can’t have it.
“A lot of young men do not like their foreheads to show,” said Mary Molina of Molina-Molina Salon and Spa. “I don’t know if they’re trying to hide behind it or what. He could have it shorter and it would look like a style. With it longer like that, it just looks messy — but messy can be good.”
Wait a second. We men have tried to get the messy-is-good message out there for centuries, and here I am trying to shoot it down. What’s wrong with me?
So let me get this straight: I can get up in the morning and not even bother looking in the mirror? Just like in college?
“I might change it if you guys keep bugging me,” Hinrich said.
