7 Things I Would Change About the College Basketball Experience:
This should be a great discussion board catalyst, so please chime in below.
Introduce the ESPN production crew to the ‘replay’. They seem to have mastered the concept when it comes to promoting the upcoming games and Brett Favre retirement stories (it’s a replay right?), but relentlessly fail to show the amazing double crossover alley oop pass that results in a thunderdunk at a huge juncture in the game. If DVR wasn’t around Best Buy’s 4th Quarter Profit would be record breaking due to the sales of televisions to replace shattered Sony’s with remotes inside them.
The Overrated chant. Should. Not. Exist. The Buff Faithful (oxymoron) took it to new heights last night by chanting it while LOSING. It reminds me of the gal that talks trash on her jerk ex-boyfriend. Um, sister, you were with him for five years while making sure Jared’s Jewelers’ coupons fell out of his bathroom Maxim. You’re dogging YOURSELF.
The ability to utilize the TV Incognito ‘Blue Dot’ Face. Think about the application potential for this! Calipari is on TV. Bam! Blue Dot. No more whiny, ‘you don’t want this ’84 Chevet?! It’s Cherry!!’ face. Holly Rowe. Boom! Nothing left but a huge scarf to look at. Digger Phelps could have a special dot library to match his ties.
I wish we could also create the perfect Frankenstein of color commentators. A little bit of Knight’s knowledge, a smidge of Raftery’s catch phrases, and a hint of Vitale’s love of the game. Throw in a touch of Jay Bilas’ practicality and understanding of the entire basketball landscape and then we’re getting somewhere. Hidden Danger: Occasionally will have to hear phrases like: “Onions in the Diaper!” and “Oh-Oh-Oh Reilly Good Pass”. Don’t forget the catchy, “Ol’Roy and Krzyzewski…With a Kiss! Awesome Baby!!”
Women’s scores on the ticker while a Men’s game is playing are banned. How many times have you gotten excited about Duke losing to Iowa State, only to realize it’s the Lady Cyclones? This has to stop. When things happen in Women’s basketball it is like Rebecca Lobo falling in the woods. She doesn’t make a sound because no one is there to hear it. Or care to.
Missing the first 4 minutes of all of our ESPN games while teams like Depaul foul repeatedly down by 11 with 38 seconds to go. Seriously, ESPN can’t switch over the local broadcasts?? I’m telling you guys, let’s start our own network. Gottlieb and Simmons will join us in a heartbeat! And Van Pelt. Turtle, Turtle.
Time to retire the JumpBang celebration. Have we gotten that germaphobic as a society that the high five isn’t good enough? The celebration reminds me of Uggs. Mostly just because I hate Uggs and they won’t die. Here’s a tip to all girls who watch what they eat and then wear Uggs: THE UGGS MAKE YOUR HIPS LOOK BIG. That, and your hips are probably too big and you are trying to distract us with eskimo attire.
A more perfect Utopia is simply a few mere changes away. What would YOU change??
Signs the Basketball Apocalypse May be Upon Us.
Yeah, I know. The title is ripped a bit from SI, but they took it from the Bible before then, so I don’t feel too bad.
Sign 1: Kansas State’s program is relevant. Big win over the Horns in Manhattan. Weirdest moment: The crowd did NOT rush the court! I thought it was classy, but my mind couldn’t register it actually being the case. It was like Eddie Haskell. Sure, he’s polite, but we all know what he’s REALLY thinking.
Sidebar: Frank Martin’s suit. It had more pinstripes than the entire lineup of the ’27 Yankees combined. Sidebar 2: Holly Rowe. Why?
Sign 2: The unfortunate side effect of the K-State triumph. Calipari is likely number 1 again. With a team that has 7 wins by 9 points or less, and 4 by 5 or less. This team feels eerily similar to his Memphis team helmed by Derrick Rose, doesn’t it? (That turned out well for all of us)
Sidebar: Ask yourself this: What would be a bigger nightmare? Your daughter telling you that she is dating Coach Cal or Lane Kiffin? Shudder.
Sign 3: UConn and UNC still in the polls with 6 losses a piece. I have long wanted to perform a coup with other intelligent sports fans to save us all from the influence of Bristol, Connecticut. Who’s in, and I could not be more serious… Item One would be to tell Stuart Scott that he is not cool, not our ‘dawg’, and that HD television has made the eye thing a bit too much to bear.
Sidebar: Brent Musburger warned the K-State faithful to beware when they had to play in Austin later this year. Inexcusable. Makes you miss the days that ‘Dwight Goodman’ wore number 0 for us, doesn’t it?
Lastly, in the “You Won’t Care, but I Do” Category: Congrats to my brother who became engaged last night. He’s the best brother and will be a wonderful husband. If you knew him like I do, this proves to be the SINGLE BIGGEST sign of impending Apocalypse.
Some thoughts for KU Fans and Family…to and fro, for true and faux,
During a dead ball in the recent win over Belmont, I was struck with the resounding roar of silence in the Mecca on Naismith Drive. Complete and utter. A common occurrence everywhere during a dead ball, no doubt, but it raised a larger issue that exists in the undercurrent of the Crimson and Blue wave of wheat.
Are KU fans making the grade? Many are taking offense already as they read that, but I also believe many are nodding in sadly smirking support.
They say that “familiarity breeds contempt”. 50 home wins in a row certainly suggests we are familiar with winning. Additionally, nearing 2,000 wins as a program, 5 National titles, and a bowing roof full of banners are yet more reasons to know that all fans thank the good Lord that James Naismith ate peaches, and are very familiar with winning.
The idiom definition of the aforementioned phrase means that the more you know something or someone, the more you start to find faults and dislike things about it or them. This is gut-check time for the true, the faux, and for me to ask ourselves if we are guilty of this and what can we do to fix it?
Bill Self can be unhappy with a 30 point win. He is invested at the core in everything KU Basketball. He has earned, through devotion and responsibility, the right to judge a player, scream bloody murder, and undermine a blowout. He can even be silent during a dead ball.
What’s our excuse or right to do any of those things?
A lesson in perception: Ask ten KU fans how this year’s group would stack up to the “Miracle Shot” team through both team’s first 13 games. Nine of them will fondly remember the juggernaut that was Brandon, Mario, Russell, Darnell, Sasha and company with higher marks of praise. Agree? You will, but should you?
This group has beaten their first 13 opponents by an average of nearly 5 points more per game. (29.4 to 25.1). They average better in points scored and allowed (87.5 to 83.5 and 58.1 to 58.4). In only 13 games, they have had seven different players tie or singularly lead the team in scoring. Mind you, they’ve done it with a bulls-eye on their chest as the Number One team.
My point being? Get off your complacent and spoiled rear, stand up and cheer every second! Let’s be unapologetic homers! At the Fieldhouse. At home. Louise’s West. In Columbia, and dare I say it, Indianapolis. We have a program that gives us chills. Can we please return the favor to the program?!
Sherron Collins aptly provides a microcosm for why we should love and root on this team. He returned for the love of winning, our tradition, and to bring us ALL another ring. He has shared the ball, mentored the young, and stood by his partner Cole while he nurses his body and game back to health. We want to leave AFH early in his last year? That could be another 5 minutes where 16,300 people thank him with reverent applause and admiration. He deserves that. They all do.
I hope all of us will do a bit better as a fan base to give these guys and all the prospective future contributors a justifiable amount of respect and esteem each and every moment of this season and beyond.
Any ol’ dead ball or with 2:12 left in a season.
Respectfully, Adam L. from Larry