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Thursday, August 30, 2012

Former KU guard Milton Doyle to transfer to Loyola

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Former Kansas University basketball guard Milton Doyle has decided to attend Loyola University of Chicago, Doyle’s mom, Lisa Green, reported on Wednesday night.

The 6-foot-4 freshman out of Chicago’s Marshall High, who attended summer school classes at KU then announced plans to transfer following the Jayhawks’ recent European tour, chose Loyola over Wisconsin-Green Bay.

“I’m just happy to move forward,” Green told ESPN Chicago. “Just happy he still had the opportunities he had. We were just trying to make sure it was really, really something that was right for him. The No. 1 thing is it’s close to home. The name Loyola is of course a prestigious school in Chicago. He’s able to be at a good school, be close to home and do what he likes to do.”

Doyle initially committed to Florida International his senior year at Marshall — a year in which he averaged 19 points, seven rebounds and five assists per contest. He reopened his recruitment last April after coach Isiah Thomas was fired. He will enroll for fall semester classes at Loyola, but likely will have to sit out this season per NCAA transfer rules.

Loyola is coached by Illinois native Porter Moser, whose first Rambler team went 7-23 overall a year ago.

The Chicago Sun Times’ Joe Henricksen points out Doyle, “could be a difference-maker for Moser and the Ramblers. He joins a solid, young nucleus at Loyola. Cully Payne, the former Schaumburg star, becomes eligible this season after sitting out last year after transferring from Iowa. And Moser pulled in a solid recruiting class in 2012.”

Self to visit Jones: KU coach Bill Self will hold an in-home recruiting visit with Damien Jones, a 6-9, 210-pound senior center from Scotlandville High in Baton Rouge, La., on Sept. 19, Rivals.com reports. Jones is ranked No. 73 nationally. He is considering KU, Duke, Georgia, Alabama, Florida, Vanderbilt, LSU and others.

Comments

Chris Bruning 6 years, 6 months ago

Geez somebody was HOMESICK!!! Good luck anyways Milt!!!

RJ King 6 years, 6 months ago

We have no idea what is going on in Milton's life and with his family, and who is in his ear. Way too much certainty in speculation about homesickness as reason for departure.

Chris Bruning 6 years, 6 months ago

yeah i don't wanna act like i know whats up in this guys life, but come on, this one is obvious, HOMESICK! Either way i wish him great success in his future, loved his youtube videos and wish he woulda stuck it out.

Alohahawk 6 years, 6 months ago

Going forward, I wish the best for MD. Close to home and still possible to start after sitting out a year. As the old saying goes: Third times the charm.

Phil Leister 6 years, 6 months ago

It's a shame, for his sake, that he didn't make up his mind 2 months sooner and not have to sit out a year. Oh well. Good luck Milt.

P.S. Has Milt's brother been seen on these boards lately?

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

Doyola!

A ramblin' man ambles home to the Ramblers.

Ghost of Wilton on Milton: Be where you gotta be, son, It worked for me.

Chicago, Chicago, its a Miltonin' town!

"Chicago builds itself up, knocks itself down again, scrapes away the rubble, and starts over." --Saul Bellow

I am so happy for Milton. Who says you can't go home again?

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

Hey, Coach Self, watch out for flooding down there. We care about you.

Rock Chalk!

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

Damien?

Not sure that's a KU name.

Wasn't sure about Darrell either.

So sign him, Coach!

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

Perceiving lots of Naadir Fear.

I have some, too.

But the only thing we have to fear is Naadir fear itself.

Naadir will get the job done in certain situations.

And I expect Travis Releford is destined for a great season of being not just glue this season, but Crazy Glue.

Travis is going to be THE guy this season that Self uses to fix EVERYTHING.

Travis, guard the best guy.

Travis, take Ben's guy.

Take Perry's guy.

Take Jeff's guy.

Travis, coach for awhile.

Travis, recruit for awhile.

Travis, talk some sense into Cin.

Travis tell the bigs what Danny would have.

Travis, help Sheahon build the stadium add.

Travis, balance the state budget.

Travis, tell Obama which country to invade next after he gets re elected.

Travis, score more.

Travis, bring the ball up.

Travis, feed the post.

Travis, go get a basket.

Travis, get me back to 30 Ws.

Travis, enforce.

Travis, talk to the media.

Travis, help Tom with his diet.

Travis, buy flowers for CBernie's birthday.

Travis, stuff a sock in Vitale.

Travis, talk to Doc and see if he's got an idea how to defend UK?

Travis, pick up the rings.

Travis, thanks winning me another ring.

NebraskaJayhawk 6 years, 6 months ago

I like it. Releford is going to be huge this season. He was huge last season despite not having a high scoring average. The guy does everything and I think you are right. Releford for Prez 2016.

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

Thought for the Day:

In Indiana, basketball is a religion. In Kansas, it is a living myth.

rob4lb 6 years, 6 months ago

I thought science was illegal in Kansas.

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

The fear mongers are forecasting another false flag event is imminent.

And another stock market melt down is supposedly coming, too.

Don't these psyop and propaganda types shaping election fears understand?

Jeopardizing Late Night is the only way to destabilize us? :-)

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

Some of the newcomers probably got false expectations in France about Self's demanding nature regarding defense. Here is Self's 23rd Defensive Psalm to put things in perspective.

23rd Defensive Psalm

Defense is my shepherd; I shall not want. It maketh me to man-up in green pastures: It keeperh me before the fast offenders.

It restoreth my soul: it leadeth me in the hedges of righteousness for the team's sake.

4Yea, though I guard through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no shooter: for it art with me; thy slide and thy check they comfort me.

It preparest a tempo before me in the presence of mine enemies: it enableth our impact plays with toil; my W cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and low Field goal percentages shall follow me all the days of my career: and I will dwell in the house of Naismith and Iba for ever.

Amen.

travelhawk 6 years, 6 months ago

After reading the sixth or seventh post this morning, I'm just curious if jaybate has a job

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

Yes, stupidmichael, you see, he can read. You really should learn, too. :-)

nuleafjhawk 6 years, 6 months ago

I'm not a Milton hater by any stretch of the imagination, in fact I was pretty enthused that he was coming to KU earlier.

BUT

I know everyone has their own reason(s) for doing things, but I always just have to chuckle a little when ANYONE leaves the Kansas Jayhawks basketball team for any reason.

In another article on this site, Coach Weis said “Why would any offensive coach set a goal for turnovers higher than zero,” Weis said.

That's similar to the way I feel about KU basketball - if you're a D-1 type player, why would you want to play anywhere other than Kansas?

It just don't compute in my crimson and blue brain.

Andy Godwin 6 years, 6 months ago

He wants to play meaningful minutes and not just practice. Too many talented guards and no guarantee of minutes now and in the future. He will have more of a role with a lesser program. Makes sense.

HawkKlaw 6 years, 6 months ago

It's not so hard to put yourself in his shoes, is it? He gets to stay close to home and play a ton of minutes. That's a lot more meaningful than the name on the front of the jersey for some players. I know you're seeing the world with crimson and blue blinders on, but there are places to play other than Kansas.

nuleafjhawk 6 years, 6 months ago

HawkKlaw - "...but there are places to play other than Kansas."

Bordering on blasphemy my friend.........

I'll go ahead and put an Lol on there, but ................

Michael Pannacciulli 6 years, 6 months ago

Jaybate...I am often amazed by the Hunter S. Thompson approach you bring to the boards - assuming however sans the cocktails and plethora of illegal substances - which makes it even more amazing. Either informed or humorous - always entertaining.

Doyle. Bye...barely knew ya. Future is still very bright.

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

JayShagger,

Great to see you auto-foreskin cleaning here again.

What's up tiny? :-)

Jeff Coffman 6 years, 6 months ago

You always wonder, here was a young adult that was given the chance of a lifetime to play at one (i would argue THE top) of the top programs. The thing is even if you are a bench basketball player you are a prince on campus. He may have wanted to play right away, but I really think under self he really would have learned how to play with that 6'4" frame. He would have red-shirted either way, and may have been a role player for most of his KU days (I was hoping he would stay).

I wish him the best and I'm sure being closer to family will be helpful, but at KU we are all family.

ccarp 6 years, 6 months ago

Do what you like to do? Isn't that what Coach Self promises every recruit?

Martin Rosenblum 6 years, 6 months ago

Coach Self,

Take some cheeseburgers and milkshakes when you visit Damien. He'6-9, 210 lbs? And also, Scotlandville High, not a neighborhood to linger in. The kid must be tough!

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

Everyone is as over pessimistic on Travis' ball handling as they were on Tyshawn's.

Travis is a great natural athlete, just as Tyshawn was. Ask him to do something, hang in through the learning curve, and he will get it done.

Travis is the cornerstone of this team. He is the guy that will take up the slack. He is gold.

Self has made him play ridiculously out of position every year. The guy came in a natural 2. He still is, but for the funky form on the trey.

All these guys can play other positions than they show with Self. Self played Chalmers at the two and people thought he could not distribute or bounce. But now he wins an NBA ring out front!

And folks that doubt Travis' gun forget that he, like Tyshawn two seasonal ago, and EJ last season, was playing with injuries that hampered shooting accuracy for a long period and that then wrecked his confidence the rest of the way.

Travis comes from the Kansas City school of basketball, same as Rush, same as that guy on Fizzou, same as all the way back to Warren "Crazy Mofo" Armstrong Jabali Etc. They come in all temperaments, but underneath they all play a cool jazz style within a basketball quintet that takes teams beyond the rigid structure of sets into the controlled improvisation of winning. Self forced him to learn to play old man style, but that only means now he can do both.

Self knows he can put the ball in Travis' hands and the band will play. Self's problem is that if he does, no one else can do what the TMan can out of the three...except maybe Perry. But Self wants Perry by the shooters square for his high percentage Jones.

So, Self keeps TMan riffing at the 3 and, when the pressure is too great for the Prophet, uses TMan to bring the ball up court against opposing 3s that Travis can absolutely smoke on the open court bounce.

No problems here, as long as Naadir can give the Prophet 3 minute blows each half without throw aways and blow-bys.

And as long as the Prophet's knee holds.

Next.

Jack Wilson 6 years, 6 months ago

It appears we have a major Travis Releford fan. I am too. The one area I have harped on is Travis being assertive on the offensive end. Not the 28 points vs. OU stuff .. you pointed out that scoring had some to do with their defensive approach .. but the solid 15 - 17 per game, with periodic blowups to 20ish. He should do that.

But I'm more interested in your Naadir fear .. is it the "short legs" thing, or something else? You offered a ringing endorsement .. "Naadir will get the job done in certain situations" and "... as long as Naadir can give the Prophet 3 minute blows each half without throw aways and blow-bys."

What is your Naadir fear? Do you not think this guy is worthy of 15-20 this season? You seem pessimistic here.

When we get pressured, Releford as the number 2 ballhandler, behind EJ as the number 1 ballhander (who is not, shall we say, "money" handling the ball), is a pretty scary thought. Enter Naadir. Or not?

Ron Franklin 6 years, 6 months ago

Maybe I'm missing something, but I can't remember Travis creating anything for himself, or for his teammates.

He is pretty good on the defensive end. He's a streaky 3 shot.

I have seen him perform some fabulous finishes of the fast break under great body control--but a ball handler he is not, IMHO.

Here's to hoping I'm wrong and you two are right.

Ron Franklin 6 years, 6 months ago

Additionally-I love Tyshawn's game, and I agree that he was a freak athlete who could take anybody with his first step--but he wasn't a good ball handler either.

Jonathan Allison 6 years, 6 months ago

I would disagree about Tyshawn not being a good ball-handler. I think that TT was a great ball-handler, but he wasn't a very good ball-protector. He threw it away a lot, but he didn't really dribble it away a lot. He had very good handles, but he made some poor decisions at times.

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

First, thanks for teeing one up for the old guy. :-)

Self is a pretty good judge of who can get better and play the roles he has for them (epic understatement).

When they don't get enough better to play the roles, it seems there are one of three causes:

a) injury;

b) neural nets grow together slower than he was expecting; and

c) some non-brain, physical shortcoming proves something they cannot compensate for as he was expecting.

Naadir was a 3 star if I recall correctly, so he falls instantly into the category of a guy with significant uncertainty of making it. He was one of Self's recruits that are long on skills and "swagger", borderline on physical ability and on the same team as another guy Self is interested in.

The question is which one or group of these three factors--injury, neural net development, or non neural net physical limitation--caused Naadir to struggle so last season. To hazard even a remotely plausible answer, we have to recall a few things.

Self had a huge, huge need for Naadir to play last season. He was needed to spell Tyshawn to keep Self from having to burn Tyshawn out. He was also needed to play more, so that Self could get EJ scoped and healed early, a la Tyshawn,rather than make EJ play the whole season on a blown knee.

Self apparently decided there was no way Naadir could fill for EJ even for a month, or so (probably the the time EJ would have required had he not had to abuse it an entire season).

So: Self crafted an incredibly narrow role for Naadir. Play slow. Protect. Defend minimally, i.e., just stop the blow bys. Pass the ball to Thomas. Just for 3-4 minutes a half.

Self had ample reason to believe Naadir could do this. Naadir had played PG his entire life. He seemed a heady type. His high school coach had said he was, also. So: Naadir did not have to learn a new position. He also did not have to learn a 1000 page play book. Self was never going to ask him to do more than rudiments of the offense when in. Further, Naadir appeared to be pretty mature physically, i.e., he was not likely to suffer a lot of gawkiness from growing a another inch or two during his freshman season. He wasn't a muscular fire plug, but he was decently cut even before Hudy got ahold of him.

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

Well, that's certainly good news, dong. Glad he's ranked higher than I recalled.

Alas, as someone's list of KU players and their rankings indicated recently, the 70-150 range is where things start to get frequently iffy in terms of how soon they develop and how often they transfer.

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

So: the adjustment to D1 speed was all Naadir really had to worry about. And so he should have been able to have made it by January, especially since Self was never going to ask him to play in-your-jock Self defense. All Self wanted was for him to lay off enough to stop the blow-bys.

Alas, the life long young point guard long noted for his ability to penetrate and distribute could not break his old habits and reign in his offensive activity to walking it up, passing it to a wing, or dumping it into Thomas. He tried to "run the offense," i.e., be the hub. He tried to create. He tried to "make plays." At D1 speeds, all he made were Pop Tarts.

At the other end of the floor, Naadir appeared to understand and try to give Self the minimal style defense that Self appeared to want. Naadir did not go out and challenge opponents on ball. He did dutifully play some help defense, but not so much that he was hopelessly too far to recover to his man. But no matter how much he sagged off of offenders, he just could not position himself to prevent blow bys.

I analysed the problem immediately as "short leg syndrome," and I remain confident I am right. If one is short, and has a long torso, but relatively short legs, playing defense at D1 speeds and levels of talent, can be just about impossible. Even if one sags off, it can only protect you against the first step of a good college guard, if he does not then change directions. And what every opposing guard began to do to Naadir after tape was available on him was this: the opponent took a stab step and dribble one way, then a quick cross over and and a long next step right past Naadir. Basketball players learn to do this instinctively on the playgrounds. But the higher you go in competition the more rarely you see an obvious opportunity to do it. Naadir was an obvious opportunity.

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

It was clear to me that Self and staff tried every trick to help him stop the blow bys. For a time Naadir was coached to hedge waaaaay ball hand side and cut off the ball side, so his anticipation of the dribbler having to go the other way would give him a jump. Didn't work. The guy just showed the ball in his weak hand, Naadir overplayed, and the guy went strong opposite with his strong hand after Naadir committed and it was over. For a time he was coached to stay neutral and just sag. The guys dribbled him into a commitment, then blew by. Then he was coached to actually give ball side and told to turn and burn immediately. Don't even try to slide and cut off. This got him the best results, but his strides were so short he could not catch up on a fast guy, even when sagged off.

TOs on one end. Blow-bys on the other. That was a death knell for his PT, despite how desperate Self was for him to play just 4 minutes per half.

By late in the season, Naadir started giving Self what Self wanted offensively, but old habits die hard. Even late he would unpredictably try to be the hub. But he did it rarely enough, and Self was desperate enough, that he started throwing Naadir to the dogs again.

But the blow-bys never really stopped either. They got a bit less frequent. But did not disappear.

The other thing to recall about Naadir was that even as he improved late, he had a tendency to make a booboo quickly. That always betrays a focus issue. A guy used to starting and playing whole games his entire life has always had the opportunity to take a few minutes to "get in the flow." But as a sub down the stretch of a season, Self needs you to enter "in the flow."

All of the above points to a guy with issues that could be maturational, or could be structural. EJ had trouble with focus for almost two full years, then learned how to focus properly. But some guys never do. The short legs could be compensated for by physical maturation and strength work with Hudy. But at the same time, Naadir came in pretty cut.

All of which makes it tough for Self, or me, or anyone else to reliably predict when, or if, he is going to come along. It seems probable that he will this season, or next. But Self needs someone now, because presently he has EJ, and then nothing but freshman Rio Adams who must be entirely off planet on the no-focus meter, or we would have seen and heard more from him in the exhibition games.

My hunch is that Self thinks it is likely that Naadir will develop enough to play the back-up role.

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

My hunch also is that Self is playing it particularly doubtfully with Naadir for two reasons.

  1. For all the factors noted above, Naadir really is on the bubble and really would have to improve significantly to get the job done, and such improvement is iffy; and

  2. Naadir's swagger, the reason Self signed him, does not need to be encouraged right now, rather he needs a dose of reality to help him work and focus as hard as he can to improve as much as he can, so that Self can then throw the swagger switch back on him when its show time.

jayhawkinATL 6 years, 6 months ago

Originally thought Chicago-Circle...not far off.

rob4lb 6 years, 6 months ago

Loyola has an NCAA championship in basketball. I used to live in the neighborhood. I went into the gym one time and they have a modest banner commemorating its 1963 championship. It's kind of cool for such a small school.

Jack Wilson 6 years, 6 months ago

Yes, a school with a much more significant basketball history than, say, Missouri .. a place where the "Final Four" remains uncharted territory.

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/college/mensbasketball/story/2012-03-15/Final-Four-eludes-Missouri-Tigers/53553698/1

jayhawkinATL 6 years, 6 months ago

Wow...Coach Self doing the dirty work to land No. 73.

Robert Brock 6 years, 6 months ago

I think Self wants to land bigs Julius Randle and Karviar Shepherd. If he whiffs on them...well, he needs to recruit SOMEBODY.

REHawk 6 years, 6 months ago

jb, I am the eternal seasonal optimist. Give Naadir 4 minutes per half!

Charles Shirley 6 years, 6 months ago

Mpann1818, I knew Hunter S. Thompson. I drove Hunter S. Thompson to the Kansas Union 45 minutes late for a speech. Hunter S. Thompson was a friend of mine. Mpann1818, Jaybate is no Hunter S. Thompson.

John Boyle 6 years, 6 months ago

And Hunter S. Thompson is no Jaybate.

Issue settled.

nuleafjhawk 6 years, 6 months ago

Why didn't you drive Hunter S. Thompson to the Kansas Union .........on time?

Martin Rosenblum 6 years, 6 months ago

Maybe he was on Mass. Ave. and was detained at an establishment beyond his speech time and HousJHawk came to his resuce.

UncleMiltyN 6 years, 6 months ago

“Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.” ― Hunter S. Thompson

Tony Bandle 6 years, 6 months ago

WOW!! College recruiting in layman terms.

Think of going into a TOYSRUS and filling your basket with every toy you ever wanted, then, when you get to the checkout line, the lady says. "Sorry", the GI Joe goes in that blue and white basket with the K on it and the Barbie goes in the sky blue basket with the NC on it and Cabbage patch Doll goes back on the shelf next to all the college hats, but you can keep the Star Wars lego set.

However, if you want some different toys, you'll need to go back into the store and start over. And sometimes the prices change and that toy may need to go back and be restocked and you'll have to come back later another day.

Oh, and by the way, anybody can take a toy out of your basket and put it in theirs.

Maybe, down the line, the NBA for HCBS may not look so bad!!!!!

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

I found Oak's unamusing post, insightful.

So I would say he succeeded.

My only problem was that I kept imagining Barbie in a thong.

Tony Bandle 6 years, 6 months ago

POSTER POLL:

Coach Bill is at 269 victories at the University of Kansas. The Question is, can he hit 300 in this his 10th season? Your responses please.

brooksmd 6 years, 6 months ago

Here Here!!! Bravo!!! Fantastic attitude. Wish I could give 10 thumb's up.

HawkKlaw 6 years, 6 months ago

Can he? Yes.

Will he? I think so. I don't see any reason why KU can't win 31 games this season. At any other school, that would sound pretty foolish to say at this point in the year. KU is different though!

Martin Rosenblum 6 years, 6 months ago

Hey, we could plead for the two Swiss wins to count.

ParisHawk 6 years, 6 months ago

Count the Canada trip in 2004, the August trip and the exhibitions each year and he's at 290+.

I think he only coached one of the Swiss wins, so there ;)

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

With another break on injuries, yes.

If any starters have to miss games, I expect not.

Martin Rosenblum 6 years, 6 months ago

Observation:

Milton is now a Rambler.

Does anyone else find that appropriate based on his college path?

John Boyle 6 years, 6 months ago

Seems appropriate although he should have gone to South Dakota State to be a Jackrabbit with all his hopping from school to school.

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

I don't know about others here, but I am getting pretty tired of CrimsonAndBlueForLife repeatedly posting:

"This comment was removed by the site staff for violation of the usage agreement."

:-)

soapisurfriend 6 years, 6 months ago

Although he's fairly skilled with his back to the basket and a solid shot blocker, I'd say Self is going to keep offering Schollies to Randle' teammates to reel in his big fish.

Kent Wells 6 years, 6 months ago

Does it even count that he was a Jayhawk? Dont you have to go through the bootcamp?

Martin Rosenblum 6 years, 6 months ago

Technically, he appeared in games in Europe that aren't considered exhibition games. So, even though there are stats for those contests, his resume can't include them just as the Asst. Coaches won't have the losses that they presided over as losses on their records. He may not even be a "footnote" in KU history books.

BTW, have you been in a withess protection program or something? Never see you on here any more.

Kent Wells 6 years, 6 months ago

I just think I lost interest after the Kentucky game. Only meaning I really would have liked for KU to have won against UcKy. And this fan just needed some distance or most of his posts would have been removed due to violations of decency. I've been reading articles and most of the comments but not posting. I'm sure the site has been fine even witout my keen and witty insights... I am touched you missed me. And if you would check your kusports.com inbox, you would find my e-mail address!

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

memhawk,

This is a classic insight. Now we can say the season consists of:

pre exhibtion exhibition pre conference conference post season.

And these guys are getting paid tuition, board, books, but playing days, nights, weekends, putting in travel time, and so putting in easily more than 40 hour weeks, say, maybe more like 60-90 hour weeks without supplementary salaries and without over time?

Oh, my, imagine what a functioning labor board would say were the college game put in their jurisdiction! :-)

Martin Rosenblum 6 years, 6 months ago

There would be a line as long as one for free pocket protectors at a CES trade show for anybody who can dribble a basketball to endure the "abusive" work conditions you just described in order to be on a KU Jayhawks Roster.

As far as the position and judgements brought forth from such an audit of the work environement, as you laid out, some Drew Carey-looking guy working for the government would become employee of the year to have brought down an organization for such flagrant vioations of the Wage and Hour regulations.

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

"Some Things that Could Happen with Bill Self's Staff, But that Probably Won't This Season"

~Self could tell his barber to give him a male pattern baldness style, then let it grow out over the season to put to rest questions about whether he wears a rug.

~Joe Dooley could stop wearing shirts with his suits.

~Kurtis Townsend could say, "Awe, screw it, I'm sick of dressing cool for recruits and their moms and from here on out its Cabela's and Carhartt.

~Norm Roberts could coach on stilts with blades based on Olympian amputee sprinter Oscar Pistorius' blades to help Norm relate with the bigs sizewise, and give him the speed to chase them the hell down the court when they are dogging it in practice.

~Doc Sadler could go to the thrift store and get the classy threads Kurtis Townsend just chucked.

~Brennan Bechard could go to a GSA/Pentagon auction and pick up some surplus crowd control microwave devices, mount them in AFH, and set them on "Clap to keep your skin from feeling like its on fire."

~Jeff Forbes could mash up Adriana Lima lingerie images after every made basket in the game feeds.

~Joanie Stephens could borrow a page from Catch-22 and start telling people that Bill Self is actually the grand son of Major Major and that as a result, they can only see Coach Self when he is not there, not when he is there.

~Tami Hoffman reveal that she has a condition called acquired random fact intuition syndrome" and the she inexplicably knows the middle name of the person seated on the thirteenth row of Kansas City Municipal Auditorium in a 1967 Big Eight Christmas tournament game in which a score keeper named Don Brewer wore one blue sock monogrammed DB and one black sock with not monogram, while commenting that he once attended a high school prom where a fuse made by Westinghouse went out due to humidity rising above 98.687 percent on the same day when the late David Foster Wallace's parents met and fell in love at a graduate mathematician's faculty party in a pair of chairs designed by Charles and Rae Eames, the right one of which had a microscopic tear on the left arm.

(Note: All fiction. No malice.)

Benjamin Piehler 6 years, 6 months ago

Well, a diploma from Loyola Chicago certainly looks good.

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

"Things Certain Figures Around KU Basketball Might Post If They Had to Tell the Truth for a Day"

~jaybate: my name is (redacted). I like to go long because (redacted). My purpose in life is (redacted). The sexiest woman I ever slept with is (redacted). I have only gone transpecies once and that was with a (redacted).

~OakvilleJHawk: I made my first list when I was (redacted) in my room with Sear's Catalogue opened to the women's bra section. The secret to fulfilling my obligations to my young wife at my advanced age is to (redacted) till I can't see. Bill James once told me the best player that ever lived was (redacted). Now (redacted) all of you, because I've got (redacted) buildings to go (redacted) build.

~HEM: Though I modestly enjoy a few of jaybate's long winded posts, the probability is that he cannot, while using both hands, find his own (redacted), when he writes about KU's level of skill in dribbling the (redacted) ball this (redacted) season.

~BigManU: I am one of the nicest posters that has ever honored a user agreement here, but the truth is I cannot believe how (redacted-redacted) (redacted) most of these (redacted) (redacted) (redacted) retrograde (redacted) (redacted) board rats really are!!! Sometimes it makes me want to grab them by the (redacted) and shove one down their (redacted) throat and the other up their (redacted) (redacted).

~Tom Keegan: What no one gets around this (redacted) board is that I am a (redacted) (redacted) professional and I have to write down to a lot of the stupid (redacted) (redacted) ignorami around here to try to stimulate some clicks to keep the lights on in this online (redacted) asylum I am trying to run, so my wife and I can move to Bora Bora one day, burn our (redacted) clothes, eat pig at luaus till we drop and I never have to think about writing another (redacted) lead from here to (redacted) eternity.

~REHawk: I could just sit back and eat (redacted) (redacted) (redacted) bon bons for the rest of my (redacted) life, because I was actually a (redacted) (redacted) (redacted) (redacted) (redacted) coach, while all the rest of you (redacted) (redacted) little sissies were reading (redacted) recruiting gurus. You see, I still actually (redacted) care after all these years and can't stand to see the (redacted) game of basketball misunderstood by a bunch of (redacted) morons that would not know enough to spit on an inflator tip to pump up a (redacted) basketball flat as (redacted) orange pancake.

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

Bill Self: What (redacted) REHawk said, only about 5000 times more, since I am the (redacted) mother (redacted) that's out there flying into hurricane national disaster areas to try to sign (redacted) talent that I can (redacted) coach, so that all you (redacted) fans can sit on your fat (redacted) butts talking about how KU is so great that no matter what (redacted) coach is here, KU will be (redacted) great. Well, I've got news for you (redacted) (redacted) (redacted) (redacted) fans, if Roy Williams has more want-to in his little finger than all of you (redacted) (redacted) fans, then I've got more want to in one piece of lint in my (redacted) belly button than all of you and Roy put to-(redacted)-gether. I've been sweating my (redacted) you know what's off here trying to keep this thing at the highest (redacted) level possible, while you (redacted) brains are tickling (redacted) keyboards. Now leave me the (redacted) alone till the season is (redacted) over.

AlohaHawk: I live (redacted) here and you (redacted) don't.

dragnslayr: It gets (redacted) old being (redacted) right, because I played the (redacted) game. But so (redacted) what? That's how it (redacted) is.

ralster: You (redacted) get (redacted) tired of being (redacted) right, slayr? Man, I get so (redacted) tired of having to lay things out so (redacted) clear, you know, like in (redacted one syllable words in (redacted) sentences not longer than three words for some of the (redacted) brain dead little shizzles that I get to the point that I actually lose (redacted) track of what the meaning of is is some times.

memhawk: I can count using exponents the number of (redacted) times I wanted to put out a contract (redacted)to keep that (redacted) jaybate from writing one more (redacted) word, but then just about the time I am about to dial the (redacted) phone, he says something just funny enough that I go out into (redacted) night and say, "Elvis, what do I (redacted) do with the (redacted) son of a (redacted)?!"

nuleafjhawk: Does anyone have a (redacted) clue how (redacted) hard it is to stay upbeat and (redacted) funny most of the (redacted) (redacted) time?

dynamitehawk: (redacted) (redacted) straight I'm taking the last (redacted) word here. I have said more (redacted) funny things on this site than any other comic (redacted) (redacted) on this (redacted) site, and in this (redacted) (redacted) world in which every (redacted) board rat alive needs comic (redacted) relief, that makes me and nuleafjhawk the biggest swinging (redacted) around here, so get down and kiss our (redacted) right now, or we're going to shut the (redacted) up and never give you board rats another (redacted) laugh as long as we live. (Redacted) you!

(Note: All fiction. And, of course, no malice.)

Martin Rosenblum 6 years, 6 months ago

Possibly, since this thread started with Milton Doyle, the truth is that Milton got (redacted) as did Merv. And in this case, one could use the literal definition of redacted, or, any word that could be inferred by the parenthesized word as a substitute.

jaybate 6 years, 6 months ago

Major technological break through!

PHOF

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